How to Live a Self Approved Life by The Daily Love-Mastin Kipp
I think one of the biggest impediments to living our dreams is getting caught up in other people, what other people think, trying to get their approval, not making other people mad, or going against certain people’s wishes for us (like our parents).
But, Abraham Maslow (the Founder of Humanistic Psychology) said that a self-actualized person (aka a person living their dreams) has to be “independent of the good opinion of other people.”
What’s that mean? Basically it means we can’t give a damn what other people think, no matter who those people are. It means that regardless of what our parents, friends, family, tribe, Nation or peer group say, we have to make up our own minds.
I have had lots of experiences personally when I’ve given my power away to other people, basically putting them on a pedestal and giving them my power. I’ve done it with bosses, clients, business partners, with girls (yeah, this one is hard) and my family. I was so conflicted because I was being nudged from within to follow a certain path that lead into the unknown.
I used to think it was selfish to listen to that voice, if I truly followed what was calling me that I would be a bad friend, son or partner. I also would make myself small to not make anyone mad (no one likes rocking the boat), or because the affection I was getting from a girl was better than being alone, so I would mold myself to fit his or her approval.
This kind of action creates all kinds of misalignments. The Uni-verse gives us dreams, desires and calls us to live them out. Deep down we know that The Uni-verse will support us to fulfill our purpose, but many times the opinions of others and the collective whole of society are louder than that still voice within.
The only way I have been able to get even this far with TDL is to embrace going against the grain. When I first got started with TDL my parents kept asking me when I was going to get a job. Up until this point, my parents had always been supportive of my dreams, but at that time, my life was really in a strange place. There was no certain financial future, nor was there any kind of goal or plan in my mind. So with all of this uncertainty in my life, my parents were obviously concerned and wanted me to be supported in L.A. So it wasn’t out of being against my dreams, but rather in the Spirit of Love that they suggested that I get a job. But that wasn’t how I interpreted their words to me.
After many times of them asking me this, I had to put my foot down and express my passion for TDL and that it was TDL or bust. I know that they were asking me this question from a place of trying to Love me, but the best way for them to Love me was to support me in following my dreams, rather than encouraging me to get a job. I finally had a conversation with them and said that if I call home again and they keep asking me when I’m getting a job that I will believe that they are not supporting my dreams and letting me trust myself. It was super scary to confront them, but I did, and I did it with Love. They have never again asked me when I’m getting a job, and the results of that decision today are proving to be correct since TDL is becoming radder than I ever thought possible. Also, as TDL has grown, my parents and I have grown even closer because of this experience.
You see, to live OUR dreams, each of us has to live a self-approved life. We have to give ourselves and our dreams the respect of choosing them over the outside voices that are so loud and convincing. But you see, those voices lose their power as you continue to follow your calling.
The path I am talking about is the road less traveled. It is the scary path and not everyone has what it takes to go down this path. But I know, because you are reading this blog that YOU do.
Stand up (in a loving way) to the naysayers in your life. Train yourself to let that still, calm voice within guiding you into the unknown of your dreams to become louder than the negative voices you hear. Surround yourself with fellow travelers who will support you.
Living the self-approved life takes guts, it really does. Don’t let yourself be molded by the opinions of others; rather mold yourself.
It’s not selfish to choose to be happy and follow your dreams; it’s mandatory because as you begin to realize your dreams, you will see that part of you realizing your dreams is helping other people. It is actually selfless in the long run to pursue your dreams because whatever gift you have to give to the world will benefit us.
The Uni-verse has given you this gift to give to the world; don’t hold back out of fear or because someone else or the world said you can’t or you shouldn’t.
Stand up to those (even if they are those who Love you) who don’t support your dreams. The beginning of planting a dream is when it’s most vulnerable, so be strong in your resolve to realize your dreams. Chip away at your new life one day at a time and trust that The Uni-verse is guiding you perfectly and know that you will be supported.
Make your faith stronger than your fear and over time you WILL be living your dreams.
Connection Point Counselling.com