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Happiness Spelled Out

A–Accept
Accept others for who they are and for the choices they’ve made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.

B–Break Away
Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.
C–Create
Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.
D–Decide
Decide that you’ll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way.
E–Explore
Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you’ll learn more about yourself.
F–Forgive
Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.
G–Grow
Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.
H–Hope
Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.
I–Ignore
Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds.
J–Journey
Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you’ll grow.
K–Know
Know that no matter how bad things seem, they’ll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.
L–Love
Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there’s room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there’s room for endless happiness.
M–Manage
Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you’ll suffer less stress and worry. Then you’ll be able to focus on the important things in life.
N–Notice
Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and understanding.
O–Open
Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there’s still much to be thankful for.
P–Play
Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.
Q–Question
Ask many questions, be ever so curious because you’re here to learn.
R–Relax
Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end. Trust and have faith
S–Share
Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over.
T–Try
Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You’ll be amazed by what you can accomplish.
U–Use
Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that’s wasted has no value. Talent that’s used will bring unexpected rewards.
V–Value
Value the friends and family members who’ve supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well. Find value everywhere and in everyone.
W–Work
Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance.
X–X-Ray
Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you’ll see the goodness and beauty within.
Y–Yield
Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you’ll find success at the end of the road.
Z–Zoom
Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its ugly head. Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.

I thought everyone would appreciate this lovely poem. Hope you all have a great day, don’t let your fears get in the way, have compassion for everyone and enjoy being your truest self………….that is truly what love is.
Love is above all the Gift of Oneself” Tasso
love Mheyah 

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Advanced Communication 101

How to Communicate Effectively and Create Loving Connection

People tend to say communication is key” or “you have to communicate to have a good relationship”  but honestly, what is good communication? How is it going to help you create a more loving, peaceful and passionate relationship with your partner?

Simply put, good communication is “heart to heart connection”  When we speak from our hearts we are being honest and authentic about ourselves creating more understanding, enabling us to resolve conflicts and show deeper love and appreciation, developing a stronger intimate bond with our significant other or other people important in our lives.  I am imagining you may be asking  “Well, how do I do that, and what does “heart to heart communication really mean? “

It is actually a simple equation of:                                                                                                Consciousness + Compassion + Collaboration + Curiousity = Connection        

When you have created “heart to heart connection” using the Four C’s , love, respect, & understanding can be truly ignited and maintained, creating more intimate and fulfilling loving relationships.
There are 5 key elements to great heart centered communication.
1. Consciousness: You need to really know yourself, become aware of your own feelings, needs, vulnerabilities and values and how you become emotionally reactive in relationship with your loved one.  This can be very challenging to learn as it means we all need to become more aware of our underlying feelings, which in conflict or disagreement can be a real struggle. We are usually quite aware of our secondary emotions which show up as feeling upset, annoyed, frustrated, overwhelmed or angry and in our typical way of interacting we are unaware of our underlying primary feelings of fear, hurt, anxiety, sadness, vulnerability, insecurity, shame, feeling unloved, to name only a few.

It takes awareness and practice to notice our real feelings and takes courage to express them (see bottom of article on how to do this) Usually these are more vulnerable feelings and ones we would prefer not to acknowledge or share with anyone. When we communicate from this more authentic place others can hear us differently and you can collaborate to resolve differences from understanding each other’s deeper feelings, needs and values. This in turn creates a stronger connection between you.

We all need to learn to take responsibility for our own feelings in relationship and learn that there is no room for “blaming or criticism” in any relationship. Blaming/Criticism is one bad habit of the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” which Dr. John Gottman says will doom any relationship to conflict and potential failure.
The hint here is to only share how you are feeling, what is important to you, without blaming or criticizing anyone else for your experience.  When we learn that each circumstance or upset, no matter what, is our own responsibility, we are becoming emotionally intelligent. How we react to our feelings about anything or anyone says more about our own beliefs, perspectives and imaginings than it does about them or what you may believe they are doing to you.

When I am reacting and not sure of why I am having a reaction I ask myself:  what am I thinking, how am I judging, what am I resisting or attached to and I try to remember not to believe everything I think.
2. Listening: You need to be able to listen without judgment or interrupting.  SSSSHHHH. Listening does not mean that your mouth is moving or that your brain is already in rebuttal mode, it means that you are entirely engaged with your partners experience, how they are feeling as they struggle to express what is going on for them.  It means that you don’t assume that you already know and understand what your partner is trying to express, it doesn’t mean that you take any of what they are saying personally.

It means you are LISTENING INTENTLY to what is being said, what is happening for them, what has upset them, what your partner values and how they want something to be different to fulfill a need they have. A need could be as simple as tidiness or as important as respect, but all worthy of your time, compassion, cooperation and collaboration to resolve.

Then when you have managed this huge feat of listening, you need to find some more…………….
3. Compassion Again:  You need to have an endless well of compassion.   Empathy and compassion are the underlying premise of all heart to heart conversations and is the cord between your two hearts. Compassion is different than sympathy and is simply the ability to remain in your loving heart and be with your partner’s pain even when it is sometimes directed at you. This can be very difficult to actually achieve, however it is vitally important to a loving relationship. You also need to be able to reflect back what you partner is expressing and how it makes sense to you knowing your loved ones values.

Compassionate Reflection is the action required after listening, to show your partner you have heard and understood what they have communicated.
For instance, my son is (occasionally) lovely at showing compassion.  When I am upset he will ask me what I need, what is going on and then after sharing how I feel he will say something like “Oh Mom I can hear you are feeling hurt and that makes sense to me knowing how relationships are so important to you and how much you value your friendships”
Amazing young man, he acknowledged what I was feeling, reflected back compassionately and understood my feelings based on what he knows to be my values.  I feel heard, understood and accepted and to be honest for me, that equates to feeling loved.
“When you truly put your heart on the line and invest selflessly into your relationships you are putting yourself in a vulnerable place but it pays off and the rewards are endless”
quote by one “heart centered compassionate wise “16 year old son.                 

Can you name one person who doesn’t like being understood, acknowledged and appreciated? I know I can’t.
4. Curiousity & Collaboration: It is invaluable to be deeply interested in what your partner is expressing, reflect what you heard, check it out, make sure what you heard is what your partner intended to mean, and do your best to understand what is important to them and what they are asking for..

Have you ever listened to a child who is curious about something? They are unequalled in their persistence to get the answers so they can understand.

Curiousity shows that you care, that you are interested, that your partner is important to you and if you can stay curious even in times of conflict, then you have most likely vanquished relationship killers “Assuming and taking things Personally”

This is also where the Second Horseman of the Apocalypse – Defensiveness must not gallop into the relationship.  The opposite of curiousity is defending and if you want a deeply intimate connection with your loved one then it is important to stay present to what is happening, what is trying to happen and collaboratively decide what needs to happen going forward. Being curious about your partner’s life, how they experience it and appreciate their perspective is the key to love and connection and creates an unbreakable bond between you and your partner.
5. Body Language: You need to be open. Your body language says a lot about you and whether you are open and accepting of your partner and what they are saying to you, or whether you are being defensive or distant. We can give a whole different message if we are not conscious of how we are physically showing up.  We need to have an open body stance without crossed arms, eye to eye contact and affectionate reassuring touch so our partners can feel our availability, our love and acceptance even in conflict.

It is vitally important that we do not give in to the Third and Fourth Horseman – Distancing and Contempt and are close cousins.  Distancing or withdrawing is obvious in that nothing can be resolved if you are physically or emotionally unavailable for communication and connection and may send a message to your partner that they are unimportant. Contempt can be subtle but is an extremely negative signal that is not only physically damaging to the receiver but is the main cause of relationship failure. Contempt can be as small a gesture as an “eyeball roll” a “downturn of the lip” signifying judgment and disapproval, to the extreme of condescending comments and disdainful or disapproving put downs. If a person lives with contempt it increases their chances of ill health and depression.  So I want to encourage you all to refrain from any contemptuous behavior.  Compassion is the antidote to contempt, and body language shows love and acceptance through being in a relaxed open posture with eye to eye connection.

So now you have the basic “4 C’s of Great Communication “which if used regularly will create more love, fulfillment and passion in your relationship.
Consciousness + Compassion + Collaboration + Curiousity = Loving Connection
I hope that these insights have been helpful for creating loving connections with your partner.

FEELING TRIGGERED?
Relationship Self-Reflection & Accountability
You are the primary caregiver of all of your own needs physically, emotionally & spiritually. If you find yourself triggered and feeling anxious & panicked it is important to take some time to reflect on the real causes of the upset so as to not damage your relationships. Here are some ideas to help you stay with your own process and not get into the judging and blame game with your partner
Here are a few questions we all can ask ourselves in regards to the issue at hand:

 1. What am I feeling? Check in with your body, what can you feel and check in with what you are thinking, what am I saying to myself this means. Is it about something else current or historical?

Am I being triggered? Why might that be? What story are you telling yourself?

2. Given these feelings, what do I need or want? How can I take responsibility and care for this? If appropriate, what do I need from my partner? Be concrete & specific ie: compassion, listening, acknowledgement……..

3.Through compassion and curiosity spend some time contemplating: What is my partner’s perspective? Their feelings & needs based on what you know about them or by what they are expressing?

4. Is there anything that I need to take responsibility for regarding the relationship issue at hand? Am I causing disconnection & suffering? What am I doing that is contributing to the problem? Ie: self defeating games like using my anger, quitting, lying, being defensive, blaming, criticizing and using contempt to name a few. What do I need to validate & acknowledge in my partner’s experience?

5. How will I share this information? Considering tone, timing, and honestly asking yourself: Am I ready (are you still reactive)? Am I coming from a place of love and an open heart with the intention to achieve understanding and to create connection?

“It has been said that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives”Some of my favourite reading suggestions are:
Non-Violent Communication by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg
The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman
Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
Conscious Loving by Gay and Katie Hendrix

Happy Loving
Mheyah

 

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Empower, Enlighten, Enhance, Explore, Excite, Elevate 


WOMEN’S EMPOWERMENT GROUP
This is a group for women to EMPOWER and support each other, ENLIGHTEN and raise our level of awareness, heal,
 EXPLORE our own process, ENHANCE learning, grow, EXCITE our lives and see possibilities and ELEVATE our potential to be the best 
we can be. This group is for any women experiencing life in any way, wanting a safe and secure place for support, to set 
new goals, illuminate new perspectives and learn new ways of being to enhance all their relationships, heal ourselves and 
create the lives we dream of in harmony with our values and needs.
My hope is that we will develop a group of women 
committed to living more consciously that will create more “happyness” and fulfillment for each of us in all areas of our lives.
The group will have no specific agenda other than to support and learn from each other as we process individually what we
 want to be working on, where we need to grow, stretch, learn and change to have more of what we want in our lives. I imagine 
some members will want to learn more about themselves and the world around us, achieve more peace and fulfillment, become more of their best selves, work towards better 
relationships, make new goals, make lifestyle changes, want to heal past issues, have support 
or just be in a community of others willing to listen to whatever is happening in life. We are here to EMPOWER, ENLIGHTEN,
 ENHANCE, EXCITE, ELEVATE and support each other.

I will be facilitating the group and there will be a format to follow but some days we will just celebrate all of who we are as women, mothers, partners, daughters, friends, lovers, creators of our universe………My goal is to have a 10 -12 women in the group on a regular basis once every 3 weeks on Thursday evening from 6:30- 9:30. The meeting will be on the North Shore starting Nov 17, Dec 8 and then reconvening January 12 to start on a regular schedule. If you are inspired and would like more information please call Mheyah at 778-881-0410 or email mheyah@gmail.com. You can also find me at www.loveactuallycommunications.com
LOVE
MHEYAH 

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You have a RIGHT to your FEELINGS

Another slam dunk by my friend Mastin Kipp of The Daily Love
What he writes is so true. We all have a right to our feelings, our emotions, our own experience and to responsibly share this with others makes us real & authentic, creating deeper and more intimate relationships with everyone.
Great article, happy reading. Let me know how you feel  😉

Our emotions are not a burden, neither to us nor to the people in our lives.
Our emotions are real and they are valid. If we are to be happy, we must begin to step into not only loving our emotions, but also finding healthy ways to express them.
We can’t build intimacy with anyone in our life without the ability to express our emotions and feel safe doing so.

Many people have written in to WhatImGoingThru@TheDailyLove.com and shared how they feel guilty for expressing their emotions, even though they feel their life is a blessing. They feel that their emotions are a burden and shouldn’t be expressed unless they are totally 100% positive.

But you see, anyone who only wants us to express “positive” emotions (including ourselves) doesn’t have true unconditional love for us. Rather, they have a conditional kind of love that can only handle the “good”. This is probably for good reason, namely because everyone is going through something and many folks don’t want even MORE negativity in their life.

However, for us to really love each other we must become willing to accept all parts of ourselves and others – not just the positive. Unconditional love means full acceptance of someone (including ourselves) exactly where they are. This is not a license to be a push over, or to be a negative Nancy and just complain all the time. We must also take responsibility for our emotions and our life circumstance and step into an empowered perspective of all things.

But, at the same time, if we wish to experience love in our relationships, we must also step into the courage to be able to share what we are feeling without guilt, shame or feeling as if we are burdening ourselves and others. It is not through the negation of our emotions that we come closer together, but through the loving exposure of our emotions that we build trust and intimacy.

We all deeply desire to be seen and one of the best ways to feel seen is to be able to share about what we’re going through and how we are feeling and know that we aren’t going to be judged, condemned or attacked for our expression.

So today, let’s set the following intentions:

1. To be more open and accepting to the people in our lives and to want to generally know how they are feeling and what they are going through. Let us drop the judgment and simply just be present to whatever they are feeling. When we say, “How was your day” or “How are you?” let’s mean it and be present.

2. Let us also be present and have respect for OUR emotions. Let us step into radical acceptance of how we are feeling and learn from our emotions rather than suppress them. Let us be willing to become vulnerable and expose ourselves and if we find certain people in our lives are not willing to accept us as we are and where we are, let us reconsider their role in our lives. Let us go where the love is and let ourselves be seen by people who have the capacity to see us.

So, can you open up a little today, to your emotions and the emotions of those you love? Let us not judge, but simply be a loving presence for each other.

How does that feel?

Have a great day and love yourself
love Mheyah

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The Importance of Telling the Truth in Relationships

This is another wonderful article by Mastin Kipp at www.thedailylove.com
I feel like there is no point in me writing anything because he says it all so well so I am sharing in hopes of inspiring you all to be your best selves and that you will create a life full of happiness, love, fulfillment and live a life full of purpose and passion. Love Mheyah

Countless folks have written and have shared about relationships that have gone awry. They feel like they’ve been living a lie, or are mad because they gave everything to the person they were with and now that the relationship is over, they feel like they have been left high and dry.
There are TWO major things to remember when it comes to relationships:

1. Make sure it works for you before you get into it.
2. As you go along, continue to tell your truth, even if you think it will hurt the other person.

You see, when we ignore the things that make us happy in order to please someone else, we are betraying ourselves and actually the other person. Why is this? Because when we abandon what makes us happy to make someone else happy, we are no longer showing up in the relationship fulfilled. And that is what we owe the other person – our joy and fulfillment. If we only live to make someone else happy, that path leads to resentment, anger and jealously – amongst other things.

But, when we make sure that our creative, spiritual, physical and sexual needs are being met, we can show up happy and joyful. It’s ultimately not the other person’s responsibility to make sure you are happy and fulfilled – it’s yours.

The other thing is, as you go along and grow along in your relationships, it’s vitally important to be able to tell the truth, even if you think it’s going to hurt the other person. The temporary pain of the truth far outweighs the long and drawn out subtle pain of living a lie. Also, you make your partner small when you don’t tell them the truth. Chances are, they can handle it, and if they can’t – that’s a major red flag. Remember you are worthy of AWESOME LOVE and AWESOME LOVE goes hand in hand with being able to tell the truth. Living a lie also leads to anger, resentment, jealously and the like.

The bottom line is this – let us never abandon ourselves to please others. Let us remember that relationships are sent to us to grow and learn from and ultimately they are supposed to make us HAPPY!! :o) We can only truly show up and be happy when all our needs are being met, so it is up to us to make sure that’s happening and then the other person if off the hook.

So…. Does your relationship work for you and are you telling the truth? Yes or no? If no, how can YOU change to either make this relationship work, or let go of it and find one that does work for you? Let me know………

Love Mheyah

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Want Trust & Intimacy-Read this by Mastin Kipp

Another slam dunk article by my favourite author by far Mastin Kipp.  Great stuff at www.thedailylove.com Check all their great resources.
Read on:
The fundamental power of being human is the power of choice. We are choosing, either consciously or unconsciously, in every moment. We are choosing what relationships we have in our lives, where we go, what we do and how we interpret events.

I have noticed a pattern within a lot of the people who are sending in emails. This is a very interesting pattern because it can be helpful and hurtful depending on when and how we CHOOSE to engage in this pattern.

The pattern is this: most of the TDL readers are Western readers, or highly influenced by the West and the West’s drive, ambition and spirit of expansion and capitalism. Let’s call this type of person “an achiever”. They like to get things done. They like to have awesome stuff. They like to knock everything off their to do list. They like to be in charge and in control.

This habit is great for building business and all kinds of other things. Getting things done and getting them done now is awesome – at the proper time. The problem I’m seeing is that many of us tend to take this same exact mentality into our relationships.

This is a big no no. We can’t “manage” our partners, we can’t “have a relationship unfold in a time frame”, there is no “deadline”, “profit margin” or “manageable to do list” when it comes to our relationships.

When we CHOOSE to treat other people like a project that we want to control, they don’t like that. They don’t feel loved, accepted and free to be themselves. And since every thriving relationship is based on TRUST, this type of action takes us away from trust.

The greatest CHOICE we can make in relationships is to take our hands off the wheel. This is not to say that we should have low standards, not pick loving and awesome people to be in relationship with or tolerate abuse. No, this statement is made with the assumption that we have already chosen a healthy person to be in relationship with.

Once we take our hands off the wheel, we let go of expectation, the desire to control and manipulate, we can allow ourselves to feel our feelings of fear and express them. This will create intimacy with the right person. If someone can’t handle your truth, they may not be the person for you.

The goal and idea is to CHOOSE to be present and take our relationships one day at a time. In fact, many times we want to engage our relationships in the opposite manner in which we engage projects and our work.

It’s scary because we like to achieve and we like to know with certainty what the outcome will be. But that is not how relationships work. They are a leap of faith. And we leap knowing that we will either be with the raddest person for the rest of our lives, or we will learn a beautiful and awesome lesson.

So the greatest form of control is to CHOOSE to give up control – to let go of the outcome and to just show up, one day at a time, fully present and in integrity and authenticity.

What would that look like for you? What would you do differently? What would you choose to let go of? What would you choose to step into?

Thank you for reading this great article by Mastin.
If you want to let me know what you need to do to get the love you want email me at mheyah@gmail.com
I look forward to hearing from you
love Mheyah

 

 

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Relationships are Containers for Growth

Relationships are Containers for our Own Personal Growth by Mastin Kipp

The most difficult relationships in our lives come bearing wonderful fruit. Relationships are containers for our growth. Some people come into our lives only for a moment, some for a longer period of time and some for our entire life.

Whatever the duration, it matters not, each person is sent by The Uni-verse for our education and edification.

It is easy and normal to enjoy the great relationships in our lives. Our best friends, our lover, our family (well for some of us) provide wonderful experiences for us. It is easy to be grateful and see how mostly positive relationships benefit us.

But our focus today isn’t on those relationships. Our focus today is on the negative and “toxic” relationships that we have. There is soooo much for us to learn in these circumstances. When we do not experience love, it is because we are not bringing love the situation.

Wait, what? You might be thinking that you bring all kinds of love to certain people and all they do is treat you poorly.

Three things are inaccurate about this statement:

1. You are not bringing love to yourself if you are tolerating unhealthy relationships in your life.

2. Your judgment of other people prevents you from loving them.

3. When you show up to only take from someone, rather than give, you are not truly loving him/her or yourself.

Knowing these three inaccuracies in our perception can greatly assist us in making better and healthier choices. Let us intentionally decide today to correct our perception of these inaccuracies.

Let us love ourselves enough to choose to be in only healthy relationships. Let us drop our judgments of others and thank difficult people for showing us how to love them more and judge less. Let us decide to show up in our relationships from a place of fullness rather than from emptiness – so that we may give, instead of just take.

So, what are the difficult people in your life teaching you today? And as a result, how can you grow from what you are being taught?

http://thedailylove.com/relationships-are-containers-for-growth/

Enjoy your day
Love Mheyah
ConnectionPointCounselling.com
LoveActuallyCommunications.com

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How to find true personal power in relationships……..by Mastin Kipp

I really love this mans blog. He has many wonderful insights to share that you can find at The Daily Love blog.

HOW TO GET YOUR POWER BACK IN RELATIONSHIPS by Mastin Kipp

Many times in relationships we love to blame the other person.

We like to blame them for not loving us the way we want to be loved, or for not making us enough of a priority, or for being too stubborn and on and on.

Then we start giving names to the way we interpret others actions. So instead of saying: “Hey, I’d really appreciate it if you let me figure it out on my own,” or “The way I really feel loved is when you (fill in the blank)”. When we are lacking, we say: “You’re a jerk”, or assume that they don’t love us.

So instead of expressing how we feel, we blame, judge and then convict the other person of being guilty. Then we project our verdict onto them and wonder why they react negatively and then use that negative reaction as further proof that our verdict was in fact, correct.

Instead of blaming and judging, if we can open up, become vulnerable and EXPRESS our feelings and needs, we give the other person an opportunity to course correct and with this new information.

And, if over time we are expressing our needs and feelings and they aren’t being seen, have the courage to pick up our things and leave. That’s the Master’s path – vulnerability and courage.

It might seem scary, but showing emotion and expressing your needs is how you build intimacy. And having high standards and the courage to maintain them is how you make sure that only the best kind of relationships remains in your life.

It’s the mark of a Master to no longer blame the other person, but instead to see the other person as a mirror of his or her own life. It’s the mark of a Master to share his or her feelings, rather than blaming someone else for not meeting the needs that were never expressed in the first place. It’s the mark of a Master who is strong enough to walk away from a broken and unfulfilled kind of love if his or her needs and emotions aren’t being seen. It’s the mark of a Master to be able to also meet the needs of their partner.

When you see the current relationships of your life as not a victim, but as a mirror of your own life, you can begin to take empowered action.

So, you say you want love, yes? Then whatcha gonna do today? Blame them? Or express yourself and set loving boundaries?

Do you want to keep going round in the dramatic circle of blame or do you want to step into the loving flow of vulnerable expression?

The choice is yours. What’ll it be?

Mheyah Bailey
Connection Point Counselling

 

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Want Love, then BE Love

Want Love? Then Be Love-Able
by  Mastin Kipp of The Daily Love
Love is more than a feeling. Love is a state of being, a choice, a verb and, when chosen, a very powerful force in the Uni-verse.

When you choose to love someone, you love them even when you don’t necessarily like them from time to time. Love transcends moods, circumstances or money. The choice you make to love someone unconditionally is one of the highest choices you can ever make.

If you make your intention to enter into relationships with the mindset “How may I serve” and “How can I grow”, instead of “what can I get”, that intention will reveal to you so many wonderful things.

The promise of loving someone isn’t that they will stay with you for the rest of your life; the promise of loving someone is that you will learn so much about yourself. Many times we have to go through a lot of different relationships to understand what we really want and who we really are. It is through the pain of relationships ending that we truly learn about ourselves and why we make the choices we do.

It is only by wholeheartedly loving the people we choose to be in relationship with that we can see how deep and real the relationship is. If you’re in a relationship with someone who doesn’t enjoy you being in your power, then the lesson isn’t that they are a jerk; ask yourself why you chose to be with someone like that.

It is only by loving deeply that we can live meaningfully and learn about ourselves. Don’t live to avoid the pain of heartbreak. Instead live with your heart wide open and let yourself learn the lessons love is trying to teach you. If you don’t learn the lesson, you’ll just keep attracting the same person in different shoes.

But if you learn the lessons, do the work, and keep your heart open – each relationship will get better and better until you finally find someone that you really gel with – you will find your life partner.

So, today, live openly. Learn the lessons from relationships of the past. Keep your heart open and know that each time it breaks, it’s not getting weaker, it’s actually getting stronger and wiser.

Finally, don’t seek out the perfect lover. Don’t chase love. There is nothing and no one to chase. Spend your time being a person who is worthy of being loved and love will be yours in the perfect time.

Learn the lessons. Stop the chase. Open up. Get busy being love-able and all love-able things will flow to you. This is the promise of love.

Mheyah Bailey
Connection Point Counselling.com

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Perspectives

Great article by Mastin Kipp, creator of The Daily Love

Turn Your Mess Into A Message
The most important part of life, and the only part of life that we can truly control is our perception. We may have influence over other parts of our life, but the only thing we have 100% control over is how we CHOOSE to perceive the events of our lives.

One of the FUNdamental messages of TDL is that you are not a victim, but a co-Creator of your life with The Uni-verse.

It’s easy to play the victim and a lot of people out there will try to convince you that it’s easier to blame other people for the circumstances of your life. One of the reasons it’s easy to be a victim is because you give away the response-ability of the outcome and circumstances of your life to some other person or entity.

As a victim, we tell ourselves that it’s not our fault; it’s the Government’s fault, or our significant other’s fault, or our friend’s fault or our parents’ fault. If you really get creative you can imagine a whole range of people to blame for your life.

But the truth is that you are the one making the choices in your life. YOU have the free will and ability to CHOOSE to connect to Love, or not.

If you’re like me, you’ve probably made a mistake or two in your life (or dozens… lol). For a long time it was easy to blame people for the outcome. When things didn’t go the way I WANTED them too I would just make it someone else’s fault.

But, I started to learn differently. Thanks to teachers like Caroline Myss, Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins, M.Scott Peck, Jan Shepherd, Sophie Chiche and most recently Jesus, I began to learn how to take my power back. I began to see that the way we thrive is by making out INNER WORLD stronger than the outer world.

Tony Robbins will tell you that the story you tell yourself about your life will dictate the outcome of it. Caroline Myss reminds us that CHOICE is the most important power in The Uni-verse. Dr. Dyer teaches that it is the power of your INTENTION that forms the outcome of your life. Mr. Peck will tell you that life is hard and that when you realize and accept that, that life is no longer hard. Jan would tell you to put the loving first and to keep your dreams and visions grounded and in real time. And Sophie would remind us to love ourselves big time and to keep our thoughts in alignment with what we want, rather than what we don’t want. And of course, the big JC teaches unconditional Love and says we can experience this Love when we have right thought, take right action and keep our focus off of ourselves and keep it instead on Love.

How could you possibly let yourself be a victim knowing all these things?

If you really get that these lessons are REAL and TRUE and WORK, then, if you’re like me, you will feel called to turn your mess into a message.

Add value to other people’s lives and value will be added to your own. Being of service and taking the wounds of your life and turning them into lessons and sharing your experience with others will do more good to you and the planet than almost anything else.

To be human is to be messy, to screw up and to not get it right – that just comes with the territory. But it’s not right thought or action to assume the role of the victim. It may seem safer and it may even seem true. But what’s true is that you can take the wounds, messes and tragedies if your life and use them for good.

You can take your power back from people, groups and anything else that says you are powerless. You are POWERFUL, but you have to choose to be in your power and to step up.

Keep your thoughts on Love. Take and assume respons-ability for your life. Things may have happened in your past that you have no control over. But what you DO have control over is how you respond to those events. Do you want to let those events get the best of you, or do you want to rise to the occasion, pick yourself up by the bootstraps and say, “I got this?”

You may not have been able to control what happened in the past, but you have 100% control over what you CHOOSE to believe and as a result where you go from here.

Mheyah
Connection Point Counselling.com