Continuing on with the series I am sharing with you over the next few days and weeks on the key elements that are the foundation for excellent communication. I am hoping that you will be able to use the tools in some way that benefits you and makes a difference in your life.
The reason I believe communication to be so important and valuable is it the most relevant way we have to truly connect with others. Communication is made up of many parts, our words, how we say them, our body language and tone. If we all truly learn the Art of Positive Communication we will experience less conflict & misunderstandings in our lives and a lot more cooperation, appreciation and loving harmony, personally, professionally and globally. Communication is an equal opportunity skill that will improve our intimate relationships, create healthier families, communities will be more collaborative, corporate values will shift and nations more united.
I believe that excellent Communication is really all about lots of “C” words, Curiousity, Consciousness, Compassion, Connection, Collaboration, Control, Consideration, Care…….AND I thought of some new ones, Courage, Commitment, Confidence, Change, Character, Competence, Consistency……..
So what is it to be CURIOUS?
CURIOUS:[kyoor-ee-uhs] ADJECTIVE: eager to learn, understand or know; to be inquisitive, arousing or exciting speculation, interest, or attention through being different or unknown; an inquiring open mind interested & seeking to know and understand; to wonder.
Be curious with the open heart & mind of a child. Have you ever listened to a child who is curious about something? They are unequalled in their persistence to get the answers so they can understand.
I believe it is invaluable to be deeply interested in what another person is trying to express with no agenda other than to understand, and in turn being deeply curious about yourself, what you are feeling and what you need to express as well.
Being curious shows that you care, that you are interested, that how the other person feels is important to you and that they are important to you. While being curious you need to be able to listen without judgment or interrupting. Listening means to be silent and that your brain is entirely engaged with your partners experience and how they are feeling as they struggle to express what is going on for them, while also being mindful of your own feelings and responses. It is helpful to stop yourself from knowing anything and to not be in rebuttal mode. It means that you remain an open blank slate without making assumptions that you already know and understand what others are trying to express.
Curiousity means that you are remembering that none of what is being said is personal and it means you are LISTENING INTENTLY to what is being said, what is happening, what has caused the upset, what the other persons values are, what is important to them and how they want or need something to be different so they will be happier and your relationship will be better personally or professionally.
A need could be as simple as desiring more tidiness or as fundamental as wanting to feel more respected, but all worthy of our time, compassion, cooperation and collaboration to resolve.
GREAT LITTLE VIDEO-HAVE YOU SEEN IT “Remember it is NOT about the NAIL“
It is so important to check out what is going on for another person, make sure what you heard is what was intended, and do your best to understand what is important, what they need and are asking for. Curiousity builds trust if you are truly seeking to understand someone else with a compassionate heart.
If you can stay curious even in times of relationship stress, you are on the road to positive healthy relationships. Curiousity helps you stay present to what is happening, what is trying to happen and collaboratively decide what needs to happen going forward. Being curious about the people we are in relationships with, how they experience life, understanding and appreciating their perspective is the key to love in personal relationships and collaborative professional relationships creating an unbreakable bond of positive connection and mutual respect.
Questions can often times sound judgemental or like a criticism so it can be helpful to not use the word “why” but instead to use open questions that start with “what” and “how”:
What is that like?
How do you feel?
What is important about that to you?
What do you need?
Can you help me understand?
How can I help?
Love Mheyah ♥
Please connect with me at
or by email at email@example.com
Find out more about Mheyah
TRUE COLOURS FOR ANY OCCASION
True Colors is a model of personality identification that is easy to understand, remember and apply. With the colors of Blue, Gold, Green and Orange – True Colors distills the elaborate concepts of personality theory into a user-friendly, practical tool used to foster healthy productive relationships personally and professionally. Mheyah is a Certified True Colours facilitator with True Colours International.
The core of the True Colors system identifies intrinsic values, motivations, self-esteem, sources of dignity and worthiness, causes of stress, communication styles, listening styles, non-verbal responses, language patterns, social skills, learning styles, environmental motivators, cultural appeal, negative mental states, relationship orientation, and ethical behaviors. A True Colors training provides:
Increased understanding of self and others
Expanded appreciation for valuing differences
Avenues for a more harmonious, productive environment
Easy integration into existing organizational framework and previous programs
A universal language that accelerates problem solving, increases trust, and reduces conflict
GREAT FUN FOR:
FRIENDS NIGHT OUT
STAFF TEAM BUILDING
“I was a participant in one of Mheyah’s Group Facilitations of True Colours and she was brilliant. She easily and expertly led us to individual awareness, gave us practical context for improving our communication with others, and challenged us to use our new knowledge in a fun and enlightening exercise. Mheyah is a skilled facilitator committed to high impact outcomes and I am very happy to recommend her work to groups of all types.” Michele Soregaroli-Business Differentiation Coach, Transformation Catalyst
Christine Awram of WOW-Women of Worth, Winner of the 2012 Outstanding Leadership Award and nominated for the Governor General’s Award this fall says- Mheyah is an absolute rockstar!
“I don’t have words to express how pleased I am with how the evening unfolded. You are completely in your sacred gifts, doing this work and it was so much fun. Thank you from my heart for stepping in and making such a powerful difference. You’re amazing!”
Love Mheyah ♥
If you would like to connect. Book your discovery session below
Please connect with me at
or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org
Work with Mheyah
My cats Bailey & Ziggy have been great communicators and I have learned to speak cat quite well. Ziggy has the most wonderful qualities that make him an excellent companion, friend and yes he is a very handsome man I sleep and snuggle with. As the human in this partnership it has taken me a long time to learn so many of the qualities that Ziggy knows intuitively about love, life & happiness.
Life Rules by Ziggy & Bailey
*Love unconditionally: with compassion, an open heart no judgement or expectation
*Purr, kiss & “knead” often: show love, affection, kindness and appreciation as often as possible
*Meow loudly and with persistance until you get what you need
*Be curious “curiousity DID NOT kill the cat” but shows care
*Be independent and not needy
*Take time to look after yourself: exercise, stretch, rest, go to the spa
*Eat small portions all day, eat healthy, organic & local
*Bring presents to those you love: love the pressies 🙂
*Stand your ground
*Say hello and smile at everyone
*Look everyone in the eye
*Be bold and confident
*Be a leader: he helped a kitten off the roof the other day. Just waited to see if she could get down and then when she couldn’t find a way, went up there himself and led the way down for her
*Follow when someone shows you the way
*Play: like a twist tie, in the middle of the night, seriously 🙂
*Share what you have with others: he shares his water bowl with the dog and waits patiently until she is done
*Wait your turn
*Give people space when they need it and just hangout with them
*Never take anything personally, it’s not about you
*Be courageous: you have heard of the expression “scaredy cat” then that means he has HUGE courage if he is scared all the time
*Don’t rush things & exercise caution
*Be meticulous and fastidious
*Admire the Christmas tree with wonder
*Smell the flowers, lie in the shade, enjoy the garden
*Trust yourself and others, assume the best
*Be loyal and committed
*Take time for yourself to lick your wounds
*Greet people when they come in the door
*Be proud and strut your stuff
*Listen and let people cry. You don’t have to fix anything
*Make lots of friends
*Respect others boundaries: the dog has staked out her territory on the couch and Ziggy will never cross the line in the sand. It is a silent agreed upon boundary
*Growl a little to warn intruders
*Be social and join in the fun but go to bed when you are ready.
*Have routine & structure. It’s good for your health
*Be careful around cars
*Let people be responsible for themselves
*Go say hi to the neighbours but don’t cross the doorstep unless invited
*Follow the rules but make your own too
*Check things out before deciding if it is right for you
*Live as if you have nothing to worry about
*Die in your loved ones arms (miss you Bailey)
I just wanted to have some fun today as I have been working putting together some really fantastic new and exciting stuff to offer you and thought you might enjoy a a little fun today too.
Please sign up below so you can be the first to get access to some life changing information that will really “off the charts” ramp up your HAPPINESS & SUCCESS in LIFE and LOVE.
Hope you all have a great weekend & I will connect with you next week. Keep an eye out for upcoming “stuff”
Hello everyone. This is your mid-week hello and giving you a FREE GIFT to thank you all for connecting with me over the last few weeks.
PLEASE LISTEN TO MY VIDEO FOR YOUR FREE GIFT
[easy_sign_up title=”HERE”]I LOOK FORWARD TO CONNECTING WITH YOU ALL SOON
HAPPY NEW WEEK EVERYONE
Lately I have been getting lots of questions about the actual steps it takes to communicate better, how to say things differently or even how to write a letter to someone that will inspire a POSITIVE response and interaction, instead of blowing up the connection and causing CONFLICT, STRESS, CHAOS and UPSET. How about you? I would love to know more about what challenges you are having or what questions you might want to ask me,
SO PLEASE FILL OUT MY MINI-SURVEY HERE Fill out my form!
AND IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT SHOOT ME A COMMENT OR EMAIL
HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A GREAT WEEK AND THANKS AGAIN
TA TA FOR NOW
Why would you want to Improve your Communication Skills?
“According to numerous surveys, approximately 85% percent of our success in life is directly attributable to our communication and relationship building skills. That means that no matter how ambitious someone is or how much they overcome their fears or how high their level of education, they’ll still have a low probability of going far in life without effective communication skills that are needed to really connect with people”
I started to write this article about “Improving Communication” and something happened along the way and I felt compelled to talk about a topic that was insinuating itself in my consciousness all week from a myriad of sources, which is:
What would cause anyone to want to IMPROVE their COMMUNICATION, how can we quantify the success of IMPROVED COMMUNICATION and what would the tangible results and benefits be for those that embarked on changing how they communicated?
This caused me to start thinking, and once I start thinking I am pretty tenacious until I figure STUFF out, and what came to mind is, you might NOT feel compelled to learn new ways to communicate if:
1) You believe life is as good as it gets, which is great if your life is already awesome, congratulations, but NOT if you have settled for less than loving extraordinary relationships, you don’t have a career that is fulfilling and purposeful or you aren’t living in integrity and congruently with your own needs and values which leaves you feeling unsettled, stressed and unhappy.
2) You have no conflict in your life, have never had an argument that went off the rails, never had a break up, or lost someone you loved because of irreconcilable differences, divorced, never had regrets about how you could have behaved differently and created a different outcome, lost a job, didn’t get the opportunity you were hoping for, your family doesn’t get along……you get the idea.
3) It all seems complicated and you want a simple step by step easy guide LOL
So #1 is fairly obvious, as we all can occasionally think
“this is good enough, I shouldn’t complain” or think “this is as good as it gets, sigh” and don’t hope or dream for more, but we seem to be settling for relationships and careers that do not meet our needs, support our values and rob us of inner peace and happiness more and more. We give up on our dreams, lower our expectations and live a life that is unfulfilling and less than inspiring, hence part of the 353% increase in the use of anti-depressants in Canada from 3.2 million to 14.5 million in 20 years. There is not just one factor that leads to depression, but we know the break down of our social structures of community, family and marriage, conflict, isolation, stress due to overwork and unbalanced lifestyles affects our lives dramatically, because as humans we are wired for connection, attachment and relationships. When those dynamics are in jeopardy so is our overall fulfillment and happiness. It is clear, just looking at the divorce rate 59% of marriages fail, suicide is on the rise in youth between 11-14 and middle aged men, bullying is ever increasing, we have strife and global conflict, that we as a whole are feeling the pressure and aren’t looking after ourselves, or each other, emotionally, physically or spiritually.
Getting in touch with the parts of our lives that need changing and nurturing to optimize our health and wellbeing, requires us to be intimately in touch with who we are at a core level and that we have the ability to communicate our needs, concerns, values and dreams to others, so we can change our circumstances increasing our levels of happiness and satisfaction with our lives.
So my point simply is, that being able to positively
and effectively communicate and connect with others will determine the quality and success of our lives, relationships and overall well being, happiness and fulfillment.
#2. Well this one speaks for itself. If we are human and alive on this planet then we all have to deal with conflict, misunderstandings, losses and regrets at some point in our lives. These experiences can be the catalyst for us to learn, evolve and grow and our relationships, personally or professionally can only be successful, not in the absence of differences or conflict, but in how we manage ourselves and communicate during those times. Dr. John Gottman of the Gottman Institute in Seattle, a leading researcher in Relationship Dynamics says “Your emotional awareness and ability to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in life”
The truth is, it is only feelings and unmet needs that cause conflict, so the better able you are to manage your feelings and engage in positive dialogue the better your life will be.
#3. WELL I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE IT SIMPLE SO PLEASE KEEP READING MY BLOGS TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW TO CREATE MORE HARMONY, SUCCESS, HAPPINESS AND LOVE THROUGH IMPROVING YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS
and if you haven’t signed up yet to get the whole communication series please do below as I am sure you will start to see positive results immediately you start using some new tools.
If you want to connect with me to chat about how I can support you to learn new skills so you have less conflict, feel happier, create awesome relationships, are successful in your professional life.
Love Mheyah ♥
Please connect with me at
or by email at email@example.com
The Quality of our Relationships determines the Quality of our Lives, and I believe that the quality of our relationships is determined by our ability to consciously communicate, connect & collaborate with others. Communication is the foundation for the health of our whole society. If we do not know how to communicate, how are we ever going to connect with anyone on any meaningful level, personally, professionally or globally.
DO YOU NEED TO IMPROVE YOUR COMMUNICATION?
This quiz is about “everywhere” in your life:
HOME, WORK, COMMUNITY……..CARS, PLANES, TRAINS, BUSES
Do you ever feel misunderstood?
Is there conflict in any areas of your life?
Are you angry or sad? Do you yell or cry?
Do you crave more connection & love?
Do you sometimes feel taken advantage of?
Are you afraid to say what you really feel as it will cause upset?
Are you comfortable asking for what you want?
Do you feel loved and appreciated?
Are you stressed?
Are your relationships harmonious and happy?
Do you set boundaries that are respected by others?
Do you get what you want in a win-win for everyone?
If you answered yes to even one of these questions it is more than likely you could improve your communication skills. I can help you with that. It is my purpose and my specialty to help you express yourself in new ways to minimize stress, conflict and misunderstandings and maximize harmony, healthy relationships, happiness and work, life balance.
Communication is the key to connection, love, happiness & professional success.
I have discovered the most important and valuable 5 principles needed to create successful relationships and created a simple 5 step communication system for changing your life one conversation at a time.
I want to share with you the keys to making relationships so much more effortless, happier and more lovingly connected-All you need to learn is the essential skills and principles to communicate effectively and change your life one conversation at a time.
If you are serious about change and committed to creating the life of your dreams then I promise that coaching with me will give you the results that you most desire.
I only work with clients that exclusively want to create FANTASTIC relationships personally & professionally.
My unique communication training will teach you to think, speak and act in accordance with your deepest values and most authentic empowered self, creating a life that is happy, full of love, understanding, appreciation, success and is purposeful and fulfilling.
Not only that but I will help you eliminate what is holding you back, improve all your relationships, define and execute a success plan and all that in a finite amount of time.
I AM OFFERING YOU THE OPPORTUNITY TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE? BUT DO YOU WANT TO, AND ARE YOU COMMITTED?
You have my guarantee that I am committed and I do want to help you create more love, happiness and success in your life.
There are many ways to connect with me but only one way to coach with me, and that is with commitment, dedication, purpose and passion.
If you aren’t already signed up and want to stay connected and on the path to a great life then please do so below
Love Mheyah ♥
Please connect with me at
or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org
Dr. David Hawkins, American philosopher and historian
- define what CHANGES you want to implement
- clarify what BLOCKS you need to get past
- create a MAP to achieve your goal
- support you in the PROCESS
Do you feel what you do is meaningful?
Registered Professional Counsellor CPCA (Canadian Professional Counselling Association #2346)