Screen Shot 2017-04-05 at 8.06.07 PM

CONNECTION POINT CENTRE

Happy_2042210cWe Help You Create Successful Conversations & Connections In All Areas Of Your Life So You Will:

  • Manage Conflict & Differences positively
  • Have More Loving & Harmonious Relationships 
  • Save your Marriage
  • Be More Successful Professionally
  • Feel Confident and have Fun Dating
  • Feel Happier & More Content
  • Have More Confidence In Your Abilities
  • Enjoy More Understanding, Love & Appreciation
  • Have A Respectful Passionate Connection & Deep Friendship With Your Partner

Get your FREE Successful Conversation & Connection webinar & our weekly tips here 

Thank you for visiting Connection Point Centre for Communication. We are here to help you find the keys to more happiness, success, love and fulfillment in your life. Connecting with a coach can help you discover “yourself” so you can get past the obstacles that are holding you back from having the life you want. I will support you to make the necessary changes for you to be successful in all areas of your life, whether you want to feel happier and more at peace, have more loving relationships with less conflict or find your true hearts calling and purpose.
Change can be so much easier with a coach and I am committed to support, inspire encourage and collaborate with you to create the life you want. 

With my support you will create new empowering beliefs & behavior patterns that inspire confidence and move you toward your goals, learn how to communicate effectively everywhere in your life so you feel confident and self assured in positive outcomes. Create a vision for your life and turn it into a reality
. Eliminate self-destructive habits that are keeping you stuck. I look forward to connecting with you, Mheyah 
Call now to book your FREE online connection session +1-778-952-4797

“I was a participant in one of Mheyah’s Group Facilitations and she was brilliant. She easily and expertly led us to individual awareness, gave us practical context for improving our communication with others, and challenged us to use our new knowledge in a fun and enlightening exercise. Mheyah is a skilled facilitator committed to high impact outcomes and I am very happy to recommend her work to groups of all types.”

MS-Award Winning Business Differentiation Coach
Screen Shot 2017-04-05 at 8.06.07 PM

Great Communication Skills will make you Happier & More Successful

Hello everyone. This is your mid-week hello and giving you a FREE GIFT to thank you all for connecting with me over the last few weeks.
PLEASE LISTEN TO MY VIDEO FOR YOUR FREE GIFT

[easy_sign_up title=”HERE”]I LOOK FORWARD TO CONNECTING WITH YOU ALL SOON
LOVE MHEYAH

Screen Shot 2017-04-05 at 8.06.07 PM

HOW CAN COACHING WITH ME BENEFIT YOU……….

I received some feedback from my last newsletter which left me thinking and wondering about how I could best express how I can support you as a coach and counsellor and what kind of difference I could make in your life.

Most of us have “stuff” whether it is personal stuff or professional stuff and it is my purpose and promise to provide you with CLARITY, AHA moments and TRANSFORMATION in whatever areas in your life need attention or change.
What does that mean? It means that as your COACH I will help you gain more CLARITY on what you want more of in your life, help you figure out your authentic values and needs, how to create a life that is purposeful and fulfilling, teach you to communicate with others more effectively so you will enjoy more harmonious relationships with yourself and others. 
AHA moments are my promise to you that you will discover and learn important details about yourself that you didn’t know before that will lead you to better understand yourself and your place in the world. The benefits of AHA moments are new insights which means you can make different choices that will bring you more of what you want & need to live a happier life. 
TRANSFORMATION is my guarantee that with coaching you will change and have the opportunity to create your life with a better understanding of your choices and how they impact your life.

“Everything you see happening is the consequence of that which you are”

 Dr. David Hawkins, American philosopher and historian

This is where I can help you: 
  • define what CHANGES you want to implement 
  • clarify what BLOCKS you need to get past
  • create a MAP to achieve your goal
  • support you in the PROCESS 
What needs a TRANSFORMATION in your life? 
Your personal or professional  LIFE,  your RELATIONSHIPS or you need a lifestyle MAKEOVER? 
What challenges are you facing?
Do you feel what you do is meaningful?
Are your relationships full of love or full of conflict?
Do you feel fulfilled? Are you happy?
What choices do you have?
Do you feel afraid?
Do you feel in sync with who you are at your core?
I can help you discover what you want more of in your life, support you to create a life that will feel more meaningful, full of love, less stressful, healthier, happier and more successful. 
I will help you clarify your goals, define how to get there with a step by step plan and coach and support you to achieve it. I will help you solve challenges, turn conflicts into opportunities and highlight new perspectives and possibilities.
Check out my website to learn more about how coaching and counselling can help you change your life www.connectionpointcentre.com
DON’T MISS OUT ON DISCOVERING WHAT CHANGES YOU NEED TO MAKE, TO HAVE MORE OF WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR LIFE  
I am looking forward to connecting with you.
Mheyah
Registered Professional Counsellor CPCA (Canadian Professional Counselling Association #2346)
Marriage & Relationship Coach & Counsellor in Vancouver & North Shore
Personal & Professional Development Coach in Vancouver & North Shore
778-881-0410
I coach and counsel in person, phone or skype
My fees are $100 for 60 minutes
$125 for 90 minutes

Packages
Gold Package-10-90 minute sessions-$1199
Silver Package-10-60 minute sessions-$950
Bronze Package-5-90 minute sessions-$599
Titanium Package-5-60 minute sessions-$450
Screen Shot 2017-04-05 at 8.06.07 PM

New Years Changes, Challenges & Choices

What CHANGES and CHOICES are you going to make this year?

It is another New Year and it is customary to make resolutions and commitments.
We ask ourselves what we want to CHANGE this year and how are we going to get there. I start thinking of what I want more of in my life. What do I need to change in myself, my home or in my relationships. What do I want to learn, what do I want to do and what options & choices do I have.
I am feeling inspired and thought you might want to join me in MAKING CHANGES.
Of course the BIG questions are:
WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE OF IN YOUR LIFE?
Is “IT” more love, happiness, joy, purpose, colour, style, peace, organization, furniture, knowledge, money, friends, learning, inspiration?
What is the “IT” you are wanting, dreaming or needing more of……..
and
If you had “IT” How would your life be different? and
What is stopping you from having “IT”
This is where I can help you:
define what CHANGES you want to implement
clarify what BLOCKS you need to get past
create a MAP to achieve your goal
support you in the PROCESS 

What needs a TRANSFORMATION in your life?
Your personal or professional LIFE, your HOME or your RELATIONSHIP?

LIFE, LOVE & LIFESTYLE 
Are you living “on purpose”
Do you feel inspired everyday?
What challenges are you facing?
Do you feel what you do is meaningful?
Are your relationships full of love or full of conflict?
Do you feel fulfilled? Are you happy?
What choices do you have?
Do you feel afraid?
Do you feel in sync with who you are at your core?
I can help you discover what you want more of in your life, support you to create a life that will feel more meaningful, full of love, less stressful, healthier, happier and more successful.

I will help you clarify your goals, define how to get there with a step by step plan and coach and support you to achieve it. I will help you solve challenges, turn conflicts into opportunities and highlight new perspectives and possibilities.

HOME, DECOR & SPECIAL SPACES
Your home is more than just four walls. We all have dreams of what kind of life we will live in our homes, whether we dream of a safe harbour from the rest of the world, a place to live and connect with those we love, raise children and grandchildren, share memories for a lifetime with family and friends, a place to express ones individuality in decor, furniture and art.
It is about fulfilling a dream and I guarantee to help that dream unfold so your home is a complete reflection of who you are, what inspires you, what is relaxing, what ambiance makes you smile. I will support & coach you to fulfill that dream so your home is a place you love to come home to.
I will give you a “to-do” list, access to suppliers, placement advice, colour ideas, renovation consulting and so much more.

As your Lifestyle Coach & Creative Consultant I will create a clear plan of how to style your home so you have the life of your dreams in your special space.
Click here Special Spaces Inside & Out

DON’T MISS OUT ON THIS GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO DISCOVER WHAT CHANGES YOU NEED TO MAKE, TO HAVE MORE OF WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR LIFE

I am looking forward to connecting with you, Mheyah

Screen Shot 2017-04-05 at 8.06.07 PM

“How to Communicate Better” Workshop

Lets Get Together once a week for 6 weeks in North Vancouver and learn some new communication skills to improve your relationships in all areas of your life, personally & professionally.

The Quality of our Relationships determines the Quality of our Lives
Everyone is welcome to join.
You don’t have to be a couple to learn how to improve relationships. We are all in relationships everyday of our lives…………So please join me in learning how to communicate for more LOVE, HAPPINESS, SUCCESS & FULFILLMENT in your life. This group is for anyone who:
  • would like to feel more understood and better appreciated
  • wants less conflict and more happiness
  • wants less stress and increased health
  • would value more harmonious connections personally and professionally
  • wants to learn effectively listening skills so you can hear what others are really trying to say
  • wants to create more authentic relationships

Do you want to feel more at ease in the world, more confident and happier? Whether we are talking about personal or professional relationships, we can all benefit from learning and developing conscious tangible communication
 and relationship skills and integrating that learning into 
relationships filled with respect and ease. We will explore and grow awareness in personal relationships, learn more about your behavior, belief systems and find out how your communication process plays an important role in determining your health, your lifestyle and social experience.  Grow your inner understanding of how you process information, react and create the relationship behaviors you experience.  Learn language literacy and diplomacy and for some added inspiration and fun we will have one evening dedicated to True Colours Personality Typing. You won’t want to miss this evening for sure. We will also delve into the stories and meaning we make of what others say and do and how that impacts our perspectives and our feelings. We will learn to THINK RESPONSIBLY as it is important not to believe everything you think.

COURSE STARTS THURSDAY MAY 3 from 6:45 until 9:30 in North Vancouver Venue TBA  Email me at mheyah@gmail.com or call 778-881-0410

REGISTER FOR THIS INVALUABLE 6 WEEK
“HOW TO COMMUNICATE BETTER” WORKSHOP AND GET A ONE HOUR FREE COACHING SESSION – $199.00 + HST or pay weekly $35 + HST


THIS WORKSHOP WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

 
Recommended reading for the course is:
Non-Violent Communication A Language of Life by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg
Showing Your True Colors by Mary Miscisin

At Connection Point we promise
 Clarity, ‘AHA’Moments & Transformation. Our “soul” purpose is to support you to create authentic change through personal awareness, communication training & inspirational coaching.

MHEYAH BAILEY
CEO-CHIEF ENLIGHTENMENT OFFICER FacebookTwitterLinkedin
Sign up here for my newsletter and get valuable tips weekly
Screen Shot 2017-04-05 at 8.06.07 PM

Safe guard your relationship against Contempt

What is the Number One Attitude that Indicates
Your Marriage is in Trouble?
By Nancy Wasson, Ph.D.

Did you know that a trained observer could watch you and your spouse interact for several minutes and then predict with high accuracy whether your marriage will survive or not? Does that sound unbelievable?

In his bestselling book Blink, author Malcolm Gladwell writes about psychologist John Gottman’s research on what attitudes increase the chances that a marriage will end in divorce. Since the 1980’s, Gottman has videotaped more than three thousand married couples in his “love lab” near the University of Washington campus.

The results of each videotape have been analyzed according to a specific complex coding system that categorizes the emotions present in the interaction plus information from electrodes and sensors. Based on his calculations, if he analyzes an hour of a husband and wife talking, Gottman can predict with 95% accuracy whether the couple will still be married fifteen years later.

If Gottman watches a couple for fifteen minutes, he still has a success rate of 90 percent. A colleague of Gottman’s, Sybil Carrere, discovered that if they looked at only three minutes of a couple talking, it was still possible to predict with fairly impressive accuracy which marriages were going to make it and which would end in divorce.

How to Predict Trouble in a Marriage

Gottman finds out much of what he needs to know by focusing on what he calls the “Four Horsemen: defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism, and contempt.” Out of those four negatives, Gottman considers contempt the most important emotion of all.

Gladwell writes, “If Gottman observes one of both partners in a marriage showing contempt toward the other, he considers it the most important sign that a marriage is in trouble.” According to Gladwell, Gottman can eavesdrop on a couple in a restaurant and “get a pretty good sense of whether they need to start thinking about hiring lawyers and dividing up custody of the children.”

Why is contempt so damaging in a marriage? How can this one emotion cause so much damage? Contempt is different from criticism because it involves looking down on the other person and feeling superior to him (or her).

If you have contempt for your spouse, you are feeling scorn or disdain toward him. You feel disgust, sickening dislike, deep aversion, repugnance, and repulsion. You feel he (or she) is beneath you and that he doesn’t deserve respect.

Gottman even found the presence of contempt in a marriage can predict how many colds a spouse will get because “having someone you love express contempt toward you is so stressful that it begins to affect the functioning of your immune system.” And there isn’t any gender difference when it comes to contempt, according to Gottman’s research findings.

In light of this information, how do you think your interactions with your spouse would be viewed? Are you thinking you’re off the hook because you haven’t said things like, “You’re so stupid” to your partner?

Gottman has found rolling your eyes when your spouse is talking to you is a classic sign that communicates contempt. So is assuming a patronizing, lecturing voice. The actual words used are only part of what is being communicated. The non-verbal component is also communicating loudly.

Tips to Safeguard Your Marriage

One of Gottman’s findings is that “for a marriage to survive, the ratio of positive to negative emotion in a given encounter has to be at least five to one.” When he tracks the level of a couple’s positive and negative emotions, he has found that “once they start going down, toward negative emotion, ninety-four percent will continue going down.”

So what can you do if you recognize yourself or your spouse in this article? If you recognize yourself, know self-awareness of a behavior is the starting place for change. You can’t change what you’re not aware of. So you have taken the first positive step by looking closely at your own behavior and starting to become more aware of the damaging effect it is having on your marital relationship.

Next, you can share this article with your spouse and ask if he or she would be willing to go to marriage counseling so you can get the help and support you need to make the necessary changes. If your spouse refuses, then start individual counseling for yourself.

If your spouse is the one expressing contempt for you, write a handwritten letter stating how much you value your marriage and want it to be the best possible. Ask him (or her) to please read this article because you don’t want to lose your loving feelings for him or for your marriage to end in divorce.

State that you would like to look at your part in things and how you might need to change and grow, and you know this would be easier with the help of a marriage counselor. Take responsibility for your part in the relationship and show your willingness to look at your own behavior.

Keep the focus on making positive changes that will help your marriage be more satisfying to both of you. Avoid blame and accusations. It will be easier to address sensitive issues in the counselor’s office where you increase the odds your spouse will be more receptive to what you have to say.

If contempt is present in your marriage, it’s important to take immediate action to stop the accelerating downhill slide of negative emotions. Without intervention, your marriage may be on a crash course to divorce, and there’s no time to waste.

*  *  *  *  *

Copyright © Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D. All rights reserved. Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says “I don’t love you anymore!” This is available at www.KeepYourMarriage.com, where you can also sign up for the free weekly Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine to get ideas and support for improving your marriage.

Screen Shot 2017-04-05 at 8.06.07 PM

Small changes……..

Bonus Tip of the Week:

“Remember that small steps lead to great progress. And if you can take small steps toward improvement in yourself, that just might be enough to change the dynamics between you and your spouse.

As you begin to stop doing what doesn’t work and start doing what does, both you and your partner will experience growing pains. It takes work to connect more deeply. But it’s worth the effort if you can hang in there. And the benefits you will receive will by far exceed efforts you make.

What you have before you is a great opportunity to gain enormous richness you didn’t know existed. And you will discover that relationship is truly the arena of your greatest growth. As your heart opens to love, your life is transformed at the deepest level, and your marriage can become your greatest blessing.”

(Tip is from page 157-158 of Keep Your Marriage™: What to do When Your Spouse Says “I don’t love you anymore!” For more information, visithttp://www.KeepYourMarriage.com.

Screen Shot 2017-04-05 at 8.06.07 PM

What is Communication really? by Mheyah Bailey

“It has been said that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives”

People tend to say communication is key” or “you have to communicate to have a good relationship” but honestly, what is good communication?

How is it going to help you create a more loving, peaceful and passionate relationship with your partner?

Simply put, good communication is “heart to heart connection” When we speak from our heart we are being honest and authentic about ourselves creating more understanding,  enabling us to resolve conflicts and show deeper love and appreciation, developing a stronger intimate bond with our significant other.  I am imagining you may be asking  “Well, how do I do that, and what does “heart to heart communication really mean? “

It is actually a simple equation of:                                                                                                                                              Consciousness + Compassion + Collaboration + Curiousity = Connection
When you have created “heart to heart connection “ using the Four C’s , love and passion can be truly ignited and maintained, creating a more intimate and fulfilling love relationship.

There are 5 key elements to great heart centered communication.

1. Consciousness: You need to really know yourself, become aware of your own feelings, needs, vulnerabilities and values and how you become emotionally reactive in relationship with your loved one.  This can be very challenging to learn as it means we all need to become more aware of our underlying feelings, which in conflict or disagreement can be a real struggle. We are usually quite aware of our secondary emotions which show up as feeling upset, annoyed, frustrated, overwhelmed or angry and in our typical way of interacting we are unaware of our underlying primary feelings of fear, hurt, anxiety, sadness, vulnerability, insecurity, shame, feeling unloved, to name only a few.

It takes awareness and practice to notice our real feelings and takes courage to express them.  Usually these are more vulnerable feelings and ones we would prefer not to acknowledge or share with anyone. When we communicate from this more authentic place our partners can hear us differently and as a couple you can collaborate to resolve differences from understanding each other’s deeper feelings, needs and values. This in turn creates a stronger connection between you.

We all need to learn to take responsibility for our own feelings in relationship and learn that there is no room for “blaming or criticism” in any relationship. Blaming/Criticism is one bad habit of the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” which Dr. John Gottman says will doom any relationship to conflict and potential failure.                                                                                                                            The hint here is to only share how you are feeling, what is important to you, without blaming or criticizing anyone else for your experience.  When we learn that each circumstance or upset, no matter what, is our own responsibility, we are becoming emotionally intelligent. How we react to our feelings about anything or anyone says more about our own beliefs, perspectives and imaginings than it does about them or what you may believe they are doing to you.

When I am reacting and not sure of why I am having a reaction I ask myself:  what am I thinking, how am I judging, what am I resisting or attached to and I try to remember not to believe everything I think.

2. Listening: You need to be able to listen without judgment or interrupting.  SSSSHHHH. Listening does not mean that your mouth is moving or that your brain is already in rebuttal mode, it means that you are entirely engaged with your partners experience, how they are feeling as they struggle to express what is going on for them.  It means that you don’t assume that you already know and understand what your partner is trying to express, it doesn’t mean that you take any of what they are saying personally.

It means you are LISTENING INTENTLY to what is being said, what is happening for them, what has upset them, what your partner values and how they want something to be different to fulfill a need they have. A need could be as simple as tidiness or as important as respect, but all worthy of your time, compassion, cooperation and collaboration to resolve.

Then when you have managed this huge feat of listening, you need to find some more…………….

3. Compassion Again:  You need to have an endless well of compassion.         Empathy and compassion are the underlying premise of all heart to heart conversations and is the cord between your two hearts. Compassion is different than sympathy and is simply the ability to remain in your loving heart and be with your partner’s pain even when it is sometimes directed at you. This can be very difficult to actually achieve, however it is vitally important to a loving relationship. You also need to be able to reflect back what you partner is expressing and how it makes sense to you knowing your loved ones values.

Compassionate Reflection is the action required after listening, to show your partner you have heard and understood what they have communicated.

For instance, my son is (occasionally) lovely at showing compassion.  When I am upset he will ask me what I need, what is going on and then after sharing how I feel he will say something like

“Oh Mom I can hear you are feeling hurt and that makes sense to me knowing how relationships are so important to you and how much you value your friendships” Amazing young man, he acknowledged what I was feeling, reflected back compassionately and understood my feelings based on what he knows to be my values.  I feel heard, understood and accepted and to be honest for me, that equates to feeling loved.

“When you truly put your heart on the line and invest selflessly into your relationships you are putting yourself in a vulnerable place but it pays off and the rewards are endless” quote by one “heart centered compassionate wise “16 year old son.

Can you name one person who doesn’t like being understood, acknowledged and appreciated?

4. Curiousity & Collaboration: It is invaluable to be deeply interested in what your partner is expressing, reflect what you heard, check it out, make sure what you heard is what your partner intended to mean, and do your best to understand what is important to them and what they are asking for..

Have you ever listened to a child who is curious about something? They are unequalled in their persistence to get the answers so they can understand.

Curiousity shows that you care, that you are interested, that your partner is important to you and if you can stay curious even in times of conflict, then you have most likely vanquished relationship killers “Assuming and taking things Personally”

This is also where the Second Horseman of the Apocalypse – Defensiveness must not gallop into the relationship.  The opposite of curiousity is defending and if you want a deeply intimate connection with your loved one then it is important to stay present to what is happening, what is trying to happen and collaboratively decide what needs to happen going forward. Being curious about your partner’s life, how they experience it and appreciate their perspective is the key to love and connection and creates an unbreakable bond between you and your partner.

5. Body Language: You need to be open. Your body language says a lot about you and whether you are open and accepting of your partner and what they are saying to you, or whether you are being defensive or distant. We can give a whole different message if we are not conscious of how we are physically showing up.  We need to have an open body stance without crossed arms, eye to eye contact and affectionate reassuring touch so our partners can feel our availability, our love and acceptance even in conflict.

It is vitally important that we do not give in to the Third and Fourth Horseman – Distancing and Contempt and are close cousins.  Distancing or withdrawing is obvious in that nothing can be resolved if you are physically or emotionally unavailable for communication and connection and may send a message to your partner that they are unimportant. Contempt can be subtle but is an extremely negative signal that is not only physically damaging to the receiver but is the main cause of relationship failure. Contempt can be as small a gesture as an “eyeball roll” a “downturn of the lip” signifying judgment and disapproval, to the extreme of condescending comments and disdainful or disapproving put downs. If a person lives with contempt it increases their chances of ill health and depression.  So I want to encourage you all to refrain from any contemptuous behavior.  Compassion is the antidote to contempt, and body language shows love and acceptance through being in a relaxed open posture with eye to eye connection.

So now you have the basic “4 C’s of Great Communication “which if used regularly will create more love, fulfillment and passion in your relationship.

Consciousness + Compassion + Collaboration + Curiousity = Loving Connection

I hope that these insights have been helpful for creating loving connections with your partner

Some of my favourite reading suggestions are:

Non-Violent Communication by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg
The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman
Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
Conscious Loving by Gay and Katie Hendrix
Happy Communication = Happy Loving
love Mheyah