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WOW-What a great review

 

I was so excited to read this great review on my course on DAILY OM. I feel very appreciated as my hope as always been to help others avoid the same challenges in relationships that I have experienced. It has taken a lifetime of learning to integrate the key elements that make up great relationship tools and I want to share them with you all.
Thank you Gabriel Dee for taking the time to review the course. This course is a snapshot of how to manage conflict and differences and will benefit anyone with relationship & communication challenges. See the review HERE 
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How to get from SURVIVING to THRIVING

My longer more in depth course at SUCCESSFUL COMMUNICATION MADE SIMPLE 
is where I delve into what principles and structure make a conversation more successful and create more connection, rather than more conflict and stress. Personally or professionally, the principles are the same. I hope if you are looking for some tools to improve your life and relationships you will check out both courses or get in touch to discuss Communication Coaching with me and how coaching can change your life and improve all your relationships.
My goal is to “change the world one conversation at a time”  and create a Relationship Revolution.
Let’s collaborate on how I can help you THRIVE not just SURVIVE
Love Mheyah 
Relationship Counsellor
Communication Coach

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“How to Communicate Better” Workshop

Lets Get Together once a week for 6 weeks in North Vancouver and learn some new communication skills to improve your relationships in all areas of your life, personally & professionally.

The Quality of our Relationships determines the Quality of our Lives
Everyone is welcome to join.
You don’t have to be a couple to learn how to improve relationships. We are all in relationships everyday of our lives…………So please join me in learning how to communicate for more LOVE, HAPPINESS, SUCCESS & FULFILLMENT in your life. This group is for anyone who:
  • would like to feel more understood and better appreciated
  • wants less conflict and more happiness
  • wants less stress and increased health
  • would value more harmonious connections personally and professionally
  • wants to learn effectively listening skills so you can hear what others are really trying to say
  • wants to create more authentic relationships

Do you want to feel more at ease in the world, more confident and happier? Whether we are talking about personal or professional relationships, we can all benefit from learning and developing conscious tangible communication
 and relationship skills and integrating that learning into 
relationships filled with respect and ease. We will explore and grow awareness in personal relationships, learn more about your behavior, belief systems and find out how your communication process plays an important role in determining your health, your lifestyle and social experience.  Grow your inner understanding of how you process information, react and create the relationship behaviors you experience.  Learn language literacy and diplomacy and for some added inspiration and fun we will have one evening dedicated to True Colours Personality Typing. You won’t want to miss this evening for sure. We will also delve into the stories and meaning we make of what others say and do and how that impacts our perspectives and our feelings. We will learn to THINK RESPONSIBLY as it is important not to believe everything you think.

COURSE STARTS THURSDAY MAY 3 from 6:45 until 9:30 in North Vancouver Venue TBA  Email me at mheyah@gmail.com or call 778-881-0410

REGISTER FOR THIS INVALUABLE 6 WEEK
“HOW TO COMMUNICATE BETTER” WORKSHOP AND GET A ONE HOUR FREE COACHING SESSION – $199.00 + HST or pay weekly $35 + HST


THIS WORKSHOP WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

 
Recommended reading for the course is:
Non-Violent Communication A Language of Life by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg
Showing Your True Colors by Mary Miscisin

At Connection Point we promise
 Clarity, ‘AHA’Moments & Transformation. Our “soul” purpose is to support you to create authentic change through personal awareness, communication training & inspirational coaching.

MHEYAH BAILEY
CEO-CHIEF ENLIGHTENMENT OFFICER FacebookTwitterLinkedin
Sign up here for my newsletter and get valuable tips weekly
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Advanced Communication 101

How to Communicate Effectively and Create Loving Connection

People tend to say communication is key” or “you have to communicate to have a good relationship”  but honestly, what is good communication? How is it going to help you create a more loving, peaceful and passionate relationship with your partner?

Simply put, good communication is “heart to heart connection”  When we speak from our hearts we are being honest and authentic about ourselves creating more understanding, enabling us to resolve conflicts and show deeper love and appreciation, developing a stronger intimate bond with our significant other or other people important in our lives.  I am imagining you may be asking  “Well, how do I do that, and what does “heart to heart communication really mean? “

It is actually a simple equation of:                                                                                                Consciousness + Compassion + Collaboration + Curiousity = Connection        

When you have created “heart to heart connection” using the Four C’s , love, respect, & understanding can be truly ignited and maintained, creating more intimate and fulfilling loving relationships.
There are 5 key elements to great heart centered communication.
1. Consciousness: You need to really know yourself, become aware of your own feelings, needs, vulnerabilities and values and how you become emotionally reactive in relationship with your loved one.  This can be very challenging to learn as it means we all need to become more aware of our underlying feelings, which in conflict or disagreement can be a real struggle. We are usually quite aware of our secondary emotions which show up as feeling upset, annoyed, frustrated, overwhelmed or angry and in our typical way of interacting we are unaware of our underlying primary feelings of fear, hurt, anxiety, sadness, vulnerability, insecurity, shame, feeling unloved, to name only a few.

It takes awareness and practice to notice our real feelings and takes courage to express them (see bottom of article on how to do this) Usually these are more vulnerable feelings and ones we would prefer not to acknowledge or share with anyone. When we communicate from this more authentic place others can hear us differently and you can collaborate to resolve differences from understanding each other’s deeper feelings, needs and values. This in turn creates a stronger connection between you.

We all need to learn to take responsibility for our own feelings in relationship and learn that there is no room for “blaming or criticism” in any relationship. Blaming/Criticism is one bad habit of the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” which Dr. John Gottman says will doom any relationship to conflict and potential failure.
The hint here is to only share how you are feeling, what is important to you, without blaming or criticizing anyone else for your experience.  When we learn that each circumstance or upset, no matter what, is our own responsibility, we are becoming emotionally intelligent. How we react to our feelings about anything or anyone says more about our own beliefs, perspectives and imaginings than it does about them or what you may believe they are doing to you.

When I am reacting and not sure of why I am having a reaction I ask myself:  what am I thinking, how am I judging, what am I resisting or attached to and I try to remember not to believe everything I think.
2. Listening: You need to be able to listen without judgment or interrupting.  SSSSHHHH. Listening does not mean that your mouth is moving or that your brain is already in rebuttal mode, it means that you are entirely engaged with your partners experience, how they are feeling as they struggle to express what is going on for them.  It means that you don’t assume that you already know and understand what your partner is trying to express, it doesn’t mean that you take any of what they are saying personally.

It means you are LISTENING INTENTLY to what is being said, what is happening for them, what has upset them, what your partner values and how they want something to be different to fulfill a need they have. A need could be as simple as tidiness or as important as respect, but all worthy of your time, compassion, cooperation and collaboration to resolve.

Then when you have managed this huge feat of listening, you need to find some more…………….
3. Compassion Again:  You need to have an endless well of compassion.   Empathy and compassion are the underlying premise of all heart to heart conversations and is the cord between your two hearts. Compassion is different than sympathy and is simply the ability to remain in your loving heart and be with your partner’s pain even when it is sometimes directed at you. This can be very difficult to actually achieve, however it is vitally important to a loving relationship. You also need to be able to reflect back what you partner is expressing and how it makes sense to you knowing your loved ones values.

Compassionate Reflection is the action required after listening, to show your partner you have heard and understood what they have communicated.
For instance, my son is (occasionally) lovely at showing compassion.  When I am upset he will ask me what I need, what is going on and then after sharing how I feel he will say something like “Oh Mom I can hear you are feeling hurt and that makes sense to me knowing how relationships are so important to you and how much you value your friendships”
Amazing young man, he acknowledged what I was feeling, reflected back compassionately and understood my feelings based on what he knows to be my values.  I feel heard, understood and accepted and to be honest for me, that equates to feeling loved.
“When you truly put your heart on the line and invest selflessly into your relationships you are putting yourself in a vulnerable place but it pays off and the rewards are endless”
quote by one “heart centered compassionate wise “16 year old son.                 

Can you name one person who doesn’t like being understood, acknowledged and appreciated? I know I can’t.
4. Curiousity & Collaboration: It is invaluable to be deeply interested in what your partner is expressing, reflect what you heard, check it out, make sure what you heard is what your partner intended to mean, and do your best to understand what is important to them and what they are asking for..

Have you ever listened to a child who is curious about something? They are unequalled in their persistence to get the answers so they can understand.

Curiousity shows that you care, that you are interested, that your partner is important to you and if you can stay curious even in times of conflict, then you have most likely vanquished relationship killers “Assuming and taking things Personally”

This is also where the Second Horseman of the Apocalypse – Defensiveness must not gallop into the relationship.  The opposite of curiousity is defending and if you want a deeply intimate connection with your loved one then it is important to stay present to what is happening, what is trying to happen and collaboratively decide what needs to happen going forward. Being curious about your partner’s life, how they experience it and appreciate their perspective is the key to love and connection and creates an unbreakable bond between you and your partner.
5. Body Language: You need to be open. Your body language says a lot about you and whether you are open and accepting of your partner and what they are saying to you, or whether you are being defensive or distant. We can give a whole different message if we are not conscious of how we are physically showing up.  We need to have an open body stance without crossed arms, eye to eye contact and affectionate reassuring touch so our partners can feel our availability, our love and acceptance even in conflict.

It is vitally important that we do not give in to the Third and Fourth Horseman – Distancing and Contempt and are close cousins.  Distancing or withdrawing is obvious in that nothing can be resolved if you are physically or emotionally unavailable for communication and connection and may send a message to your partner that they are unimportant. Contempt can be subtle but is an extremely negative signal that is not only physically damaging to the receiver but is the main cause of relationship failure. Contempt can be as small a gesture as an “eyeball roll” a “downturn of the lip” signifying judgment and disapproval, to the extreme of condescending comments and disdainful or disapproving put downs. If a person lives with contempt it increases their chances of ill health and depression.  So I want to encourage you all to refrain from any contemptuous behavior.  Compassion is the antidote to contempt, and body language shows love and acceptance through being in a relaxed open posture with eye to eye connection.

So now you have the basic “4 C’s of Great Communication “which if used regularly will create more love, fulfillment and passion in your relationship.
Consciousness + Compassion + Collaboration + Curiousity = Loving Connection
I hope that these insights have been helpful for creating loving connections with your partner.

FEELING TRIGGERED?
Relationship Self-Reflection & Accountability
You are the primary caregiver of all of your own needs physically, emotionally & spiritually. If you find yourself triggered and feeling anxious & panicked it is important to take some time to reflect on the real causes of the upset so as to not damage your relationships. Here are some ideas to help you stay with your own process and not get into the judging and blame game with your partner
Here are a few questions we all can ask ourselves in regards to the issue at hand:

 1. What am I feeling? Check in with your body, what can you feel and check in with what you are thinking, what am I saying to myself this means. Is it about something else current or historical?

Am I being triggered? Why might that be? What story are you telling yourself?

2. Given these feelings, what do I need or want? How can I take responsibility and care for this? If appropriate, what do I need from my partner? Be concrete & specific ie: compassion, listening, acknowledgement……..

3.Through compassion and curiosity spend some time contemplating: What is my partner’s perspective? Their feelings & needs based on what you know about them or by what they are expressing?

4. Is there anything that I need to take responsibility for regarding the relationship issue at hand? Am I causing disconnection & suffering? What am I doing that is contributing to the problem? Ie: self defeating games like using my anger, quitting, lying, being defensive, blaming, criticizing and using contempt to name a few. What do I need to validate & acknowledge in my partner’s experience?

5. How will I share this information? Considering tone, timing, and honestly asking yourself: Am I ready (are you still reactive)? Am I coming from a place of love and an open heart with the intention to achieve understanding and to create connection?

“It has been said that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives”Some of my favourite reading suggestions are:
Non-Violent Communication by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg
The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman
Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix
Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
Conscious Loving by Gay and Katie Hendrix

Happy Loving
Mheyah

 

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Empower, Enlighten, Enhance, Explore, Excite, Elevate 


WOMEN’S EMPOWERMENT GROUP
This is a group for women to EMPOWER and support each other, ENLIGHTEN and raise our level of awareness, heal,
 EXPLORE our own process, ENHANCE learning, grow, EXCITE our lives and see possibilities and ELEVATE our potential to be the best 
we can be. This group is for any women experiencing life in any way, wanting a safe and secure place for support, to set 
new goals, illuminate new perspectives and learn new ways of being to enhance all their relationships, heal ourselves and 
create the lives we dream of in harmony with our values and needs.
My hope is that we will develop a group of women 
committed to living more consciously that will create more “happyness” and fulfillment for each of us in all areas of our lives.
The group will have no specific agenda other than to support and learn from each other as we process individually what we
 want to be working on, where we need to grow, stretch, learn and change to have more of what we want in our lives. I imagine 
some members will want to learn more about themselves and the world around us, achieve more peace and fulfillment, become more of their best selves, work towards better 
relationships, make new goals, make lifestyle changes, want to heal past issues, have support 
or just be in a community of others willing to listen to whatever is happening in life. We are here to EMPOWER, ENLIGHTEN,
 ENHANCE, EXCITE, ELEVATE and support each other.

I will be facilitating the group and there will be a format to follow but some days we will just celebrate all of who we are as women, mothers, partners, daughters, friends, lovers, creators of our universe………My goal is to have a 10 -12 women in the group on a regular basis once every 3 weeks on Thursday evening from 6:30- 9:30. The meeting will be on the North Shore starting Nov 17, Dec 8 and then reconvening January 12 to start on a regular schedule. If you are inspired and would like more information please call Mheyah at 778-881-0410 or email mheyah@gmail.com. You can also find me at www.loveactuallycommunications.com
LOVE
MHEYAH 

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Announcing Communication Course

“Lets Get Together” once a week for 8 weeks starting Wed April 6 in North Vancouver and really learn some new skills to improve your relationships and your life.
“The Quality of our Relationships determines the Quality of our Lives”

Everyone is welcome to join. You don’t have to be a couple to learn how to improve your relationships. We are all in relationship everyday and the most important relationship we are in is the one we have with ourselves…………

So please join me for
COLLABORATIVE COMPASSIONATE
 CONSCIOUS COMMUNICATION 8 Week Event

This group is for anyone: who wants to understand and to be understood more effectively, for anyone that wants less conflict, to feel less stressed, to have more harmonious connections in your everyday life, personally and professionally.

Do you want to hear what others are really trying to say and do you want to express yourself clearly so you can be understood and appreciated for who you are, what you need and want and for others to understand what is important to  you.
Do you want to feel more at ease in the world, more confident and happier.

Whether we are talking about personal or professional relationships, we can all benefit from learning and developing conscious tangible communication
 and relationship skills that honour and respect each others needs and values, 
create a clear understanding of ones core self and what is important to you, integrating that learning into 
relationships filled with respect and ease.

You will learn to use the communication model of Compassionate 
Communication (NVC) created by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg.  We will do some experiential exercises individually and in a group that will highlight your needs and values and you will learn to communicate these more effectively minimizing stress and emotional upset. You will learn how to ask the important questions, limit the impact of conflict and differences, merging everything you have learned about yourself and others and the goals of the relationship personally or professionally into a harmonious reality.

For some added inspiration and fun we will have one evening dedicated to True Colours Personality Typing. You won’t want to miss this evening for sure.

My hope is you will start to see conflict as an opportunity
, learn to debate constructively and respectfully
, recognize your own and others deepest values and needs
 and communicate clear boundaries. We will also delve into the stories and meaning we make of what others say and do and how that impacts our perspectives and our feelings. We will learn to “THINK RESPONSIBLY”

Relationship coaching develops deep democracy in all relationships, teaches valuable emotional de-triggering techniques, 
increases a positive view of others, recognizes mixed signals and creates understanding about the special gifts we all bring to our different roles, partnerships and connections. This unique coaching and counselling approach teaches profound tools that will
 inspire and challenge you to gain a deeper understanding of yourself and others through
COLLABORATIVE COMPASSIONATE
 CONSCIOUS COMMUNICATION
.

REGISTER AND GET A ONE HOUR FREE COACHING SESSION

Recommended reading for the course is:
Non-Violent Communication, A Language of Love by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg
The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman
Cost for the 8 week course is $199
For more information and to register please contact me
Mheyah@gmail.com or 778-881-0410