I have been hearing these wonderful terms lately that totally resonate with me. “Fierce Accountability” and “Radical Responsibility” and I just feel their meaning deeply so wanted to talk about what they really mean and have started a new series called RADICAL RESPONSIBILITY which will delve more deeply into the principles and qualities one needs to be a great communicator and how to become radically responsible or fiercely accountable. I want to explore more deeply what it takes to actually action the principles for great communication, how to develop the qualities and make the changes you need to create positive relationships going forward. These steps are what will change your life towards a direction you want, towards more harmonious relationships, more professional success and ultimately a more fulfilling and happy life.
So far we have nibbled at the 5 principles that are necessary for stellar communication, Consciousness, Compassion, Curiousity, Courage and Commitment and we have also briefly touched on the 5 Simple Steps for Successful Communication: Intentions, Observations, Feelings, Values, Requests.
Let’s now start learning what each of those qualities needs to grow your skill in that area.
So when we talked about Consciousness I suggested that great relationships start with knowing yourself first and this is a fundamental truth. If you don’t know yourself, aren’t aware of what drives your feelings, don’t know what your needs and values are you will struggle to express to others what is important to you and this goes for any relationship in your life.
One of my most favourite lines is “Don’t Believe Everything you Think” only because it is such a simple truth. Don’t believe everything you think because what you think is not always true. Can you think of things you think that aren’t true? How about I am not good enough, I can’t do that, I am fat, I am too old, they don’t like me and I am sure you can come up with a whole lot more. We know through neural science that how we think directly impacts how we feel.
You may have heard that great line;
WHETHER YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN, OR YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN’T, IT’S TRUE !
Your neural network is the wiring system in the brain that stores automatic responses to ones memories, experiences, learning, social conditioning etc. It is your MIND MAP or your BLUEPRINT so to speak.
Now I imagine that is not a new idea for many of you as it has been all over social media and the news lately but it brings me back to the one line that I really believe is important-THE TRUTH IS SIMPLE
Some of our truths are negative and some are positive and are influenced by the meaning we give to an event, which in turn will determine whether we feel positive or negative feelings. It is true that you can’t have a feeling without a thought first, so if you are feeling less than happy, feeling negative and fearful or are hosting a myriad of negative emotions, you may want to take a look at what you are thinking, what perspectives you are stuck in, what judgments you are having, what you are resisting or what outcome you are attached to. We cause ourselves an endless amount of pain by not digging deep to uncover what the simple truths are in our thinking especially when we are gifted with the ability to change our thinking so we can feel more positive feelings and create happier lives for ourselves.
Understanding our negative feelings as they happen will help us immensely in the long run as we learn to gain clarity about our thoughts, so we can shift our thinking, see new perspectives, find a different truth, refute the old thoughts which in turn will create more positive feelings.
I have always been interested in NEURO-POSITIVE INTEGRATIVE COACHING which is where neuro-science and positive psychology intercept which put simply means “positive thinking creates positive feelings” Positive thoughts, interpretations, beliefs, perspectives and ideas EQUALS feelings of happiness, peace, joy, pleasure, acceptance, appreciation………..it is really that simple.
The question is how does one gain the ability to change one’s thoughts, integrate them into a consistent new pattern that will create new positive feelings. The first task is to unpack what you are thinking by listening to your feelings, using them as a barometer for what is true for you in any given moment.
Your feelings are never wrong but your thinking might be less than optimal. Use your feelings like a clue to find the truth. You are on a hunt to solve the mystery of what you really think.
I have learned over many years to let my feelings guide me to clarity about what I am really thinking and then I can assess if what I am thinking is really accurate and true.
I love this quote “DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK” because truthfully “we think” based on our previous experiences, learning, social values, upbringing and to be honest most of the time those ingrained neural networks are hardwired with outmoded ideas that aren’t true in the moment. It is not as difficult as it sounds and learning to assess our feeling is where the important information about what we think can be found.
So lets get rid of that “stinkin thinkin” and trust me I have been stuck many times in a story I tell myself. Usually none of what I am thinking is even relevant or true and has NOTHING to do with me at all. In many cases it behooves us not to question what we believe and ask others if what we are thinking has any basis in truth or not. We could really change our lives if we change our thinking and the stories we tell ourselves about what events mean. It is typically most difficult when experiencing some BIG FEELINGS and we can’t see any other perspectives or a way forward, staying STUCK in our negative feelings. That is where the proverbial TIME OUT can come in handy while you take time to process what is at the heart of the matter or with the support from a coach or counsellor to help you figure out what your mind is really thinking. Along with many other colleagues I can help you create a new MIND MAP, a new BLUEPRINT so you will feel more peace, joy and happiness, create more success and build positive loving relationships.
NEURO-POSITIVE INTEGRATIVE COACHING says that patterns of positive emotion, once set in motion, are stronger in the long run than negative ones. Simply stated, positive thoughts and emotion over time and practice will overtake negative emotional patterns creating new neural networks. The interplay of positive consciousness, thinking, feeling and awareness over time, with the initial smallest intent, can change the course of one’s whole life.
Challenge what you think, let your feelings inform you about what you are thinking, think 10 minutes everyday of what you appreciate and you will create happiness (The Happiness Advantage) learn to meditate, see a trusted coach or counsellor who can support you with clarity and moving forward, use guided programs to set new positive MIND MAPS & BLUEPRINTS to help you rewire your brain for success and happiness.
TO CREATE A NEW WAY OF THINKING & TO LEARN MORE ABOUT MIND MAPPING OR BLUEPRINTING CLICK HERE
“NEURO POSITIVE INTEGRATIVE COACHING believes in the power of the neuroplastic brain to lead clients to a sense of vision and meaning, ultimately guiding them to a sense of personal significance and purpose, which is the centre for happiness and fulfillment in life”