And Now for Something Completely Different
Also published on MetroLivingZine
We are taking a break this week from our Creating Successful Relationships series Instead I have written a lifestyle list for HAPPY-NESS because relationships are really inside work and you are responsible for your health and happiness, no one else.
It can be a challenging concept to understand that relationships are inside work and I don’t mean just our love relationships, but all relationships. It is our own responsibility to make ourselves happy, follow our own paths to passion, creativity and fulfillment and not blame others for our unhappiness. All our connections teach us about ourselves and need us to grow into our best selves to flourish, so for a change lets look at ourselves, and what we can do to make ourselves happier.
Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony – Thomas Merton.
Happiness and living an inspired and conscious life can only be achieved if there is balance between the physical BODY, spiritual SOUL and emotional MIND.
BE committed, DO what it takes, to HAVE what you want-Choices International
RECIPE for a HAPPY LIFE
Get plenty of exercise, movement and fresh air. Men need a minimum of 3 times a week and women need up to 5 times a week of regular exercise. New studies have said we are healthier if we get 450 minutes a week of exercise which equate to roughly and hour a day. That is where walking a dog could help J
The benefits of exercise are widely known including physical and mental health on many levels. Our bodies are meant to move and express themselves. Movement keeps our hearts healthy, our weight in balance, our bones strong and creates endorphins for happiness, so if you want to feel better all the way around then start moving, whatever way feels inspiring to you. If you can’t manage to stay committed and need help, hire a coach, a trainer, get an exercise buddy or figure out what is stopping you. Exercise decreases depression, improves sleep, reduces stress and elevates self-esteem while building strong bodies, bones and strengthens immunity. So get out and Swim, Ski, Run, Yoga, Pilates, Dance, Cycle, Run, Walk, Hike………Doesn’t matter what it is “just do it” as the saying goes. Thank you Nike.
Eat healthier. Buy quality whole foods, cook responsibly for heart health and nourishment and then balance your caloric intake with your exercise. Don’t eat junk or processed food. Eat at regular intervals to maintain a healthy glycemic index and eat 3 -4 small meals a day over eating one large one only at night and don’t eat late at night. You are what you eat, or so the saying goes.
Drink water-5-8 glasses a day depending on your weight. Being dehydrated creates stress on the body so that your body does not run efficiently, builds up toxins, compromises digestion and creates fatigue.
Get sufficient rest. We are a sleep-deprived culture. About eight hours of sleep is the minimum for the body to repair itself. You may personally need more or less, as sleep requirements vary between people but we do need adequate sleep to achieve our fullest potential. Don’t drink caffeine before bed, eat heavy foods or engage in mentally stimulating activity. Let your brain calm down and keep the lighting low for an hour before sleep and sweet dreams.
Find time to relax. Just lie down, think positive thoughts, meditate or take up a relaxing hobby, socialize with people you love.
Do something creative. Pick a hobby or recreation that you enjoy as it will balance out daily stress. This is one of the most important aspects to happiness in my mind and is also one of the most important aspects for healthy relationships. It is vitally important to continue or find your creative centre for your relationships to thrive. When each person in any couple feels fulfilled creatively it will keep your relationship sparkling with enthusiasm and inspiration too.
Plan out your day and set goals. Remain flexible and try different approaches to your goals. Remember, sometimes life goes differently than you planned and you may not have time for everything. Just be productive in the time you have and do your best to not stress if you don’t accomplish everything just the way you planned. Perspective and positivity is important to ones well-being and sense of self-esteem. Formula for goal setting
S.M.A.R.T. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Timely
Find and develop your gifts and talents. Go out and try activities to find what you are good at and what you love and feel passionate about. We are all good at something
Keep a diary or a journal. This would be a good place to write things out, talk about your thoughts and feelings. Process life as it happens. It will give you a memoir to share when you are older.
Read. Try classics such as Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Montaigne, Proust, or Tolstoy. If you are not fond of those, try the newspaper, a fantasy novel, history, personal growth, bibliography, or mystery. There’s something for everyone- check out your local library or a bookstore. I love bookstores. So many books, so little time.
Think responsibly-You are what you think, whether you believe you can or you can’t, it is the truth. See more about THINKING
Learn something new every day-Whenever we learn something new, including new attitudes, perspectives, or behaviors, we are changing the physical structure of the brain.
Education. Be independent and self-supporting. Educate yourself, master the skills necessary for your advancement and ability to contribute. You will not be dependent upon anyone else and safety and security is a fundamental human need.
Appreciation makes you Happy. Money is not that important. Fulfillment and Purpose are the most important qualities to create happiness Remember rich people are no happier than average people. After ones basic needs are met people that have more money are not any happier than those without a lot of money.
Play, Laugh & then Laugh and Play some more
You can learn more about a man in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. It is essential to ones soul and physical well-being to laugh, play and be a kid again. Never lose your inner child.
Communicate effectively-see all about communication and the importance of effective communication on your happiness. Communication
Listen to others. There is difference between just hearing the words and actually paying attention, listening and understanding them.
Compassion is an essential ingredient to connecting with others and living a heart centered life.
Process-Be with yourself and learn what your feelings are telling you. Let them inform you of the deeper meanings. Before you react in anger understand that anger is only a secondary emotion and that the feelings underneath that inform us of needs and values that are being compromised. If we do not look within, we will go without. The wholeness of ourselves does not depend on our personalities but depends entirely on the awareness of our inner feelings.
Consciousness-“Don’t believe everything you think” but do know that to live consciously means using the wisdom of the heart and the power of the mind. Seek out like minded individuals, go to counselling, get a coach, have a growth buddy, support group, join groups, learn. It is our human journey to grow, heal and change.
Responsibility-be “respons-able” means be responsible for how you behave, how you react, are you choosing fear or love, are you bullying anyone or not asking for what you need and want, where are you not showing up, giving up, acting angry, hiding in confusion, not looking after yourself, abusing………,
Authenticity-Means to be genuine and honest about who you are in this world. It is way less stressful to be oneself at all times. “If you aren’t going to be you, who is?” Sometimes to be ourselves requires courage as we may face judgment or criticism but to live an authentic life is surely something to strive for as it is the foundation for purpose, happiness, love, fulfillment and success.
Purpose– Your purpose is who you were born to be and how you live every day. Find your purpose and everything else will fall into place. See Purpose…..
Career-To be happy, ones job has to be one you love. “Love it or Leave it” You spend more time at your job than anywhere else, so make sure it feels purposeful and fulfilling and then you will be more successful and happy. One of the most important decisions you can make that will define your happiness is your career choice.
Contribution Do good deeds for other people, share your gifts and expertise for the betterment of others
Connection-Connect with others, people you love and enjoy being around. Humans are a social animal and connection is an important aspect of our well-being. The second most important decision you make that impacts your happiness is choosing who to love and who will be your mate and partner.
Meditate-Meditation changes how your brain is wired and helps to reduce stress, increase awareness, lowers blood pressure and reduces anxiety and depression.
Commune with nature. Get outside, get fresh air, get outside with life and be part of nature. To do so is grounding and relieves stress.
Have Faith, Believe, Trust If you are religious, study, spend time with like minded people and spend time with others who challenge your beliefs. Learn what faith means to you and trust in something.
Add the key ingredient, LOVE and you have a recipe for a happy healthy life, personally, professionally, globally. That means to love yourself and others equally without judgment or fear. Love and Fear cannot coexist. It is a choice we make everyday. Ultimately, at our essence we are LOVE. We are not fear, or anger, or greed, or competition. As we continue to awaken, may we continue to grow in LOVE and exercise all that we are, in how we relate to ourselves, others and all living and non-living things on this planet. May we always focus on the solutions, rather than the problems, and truly be the change we wish to see.
Marriage & Relationship Coach & Counsellor
Personal & Professional Development Coach
cell: +44 7986 201914