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Life & Love is all in the Details


Successful Communication Made Simple Series by Mheyah Bailey
How Curiousity is one of the 5 Important Principles for Creating Amazing Relationships

How can we make everything in life truly amazing? How can we create Radical Relationships with intensity and passion that are truly an authentic expression of our individuality and our togetherness? It is all in the details.

I just spent a fabulous week in France taking in and enjoying all the sensorial delights and ambiance of the beautiful countryside, villages, history and all of details that make up a truly inspiring French lifestyle, from the simple salutations in every shop, to expressing oneself with hand gestures, kissing on both sides of the cheek, dining al fresco with the silverware and good china, the je ne sais quoi of the fashionista, food grown in the garden or shopped for in the market, music and fragrances of walnut oil and honeysuckle in the air, the curiosity and gratitude for the joie de vivre. Sigh…….DSC_3040
As I was planning this article about the importance and benefits of curiousity in our relationships and lives, it dawned on me this week that life and love is all in the details and a curious mind is a necessity for finding the details, the nuances, the deeper meaning and enjoyment of anything. Curiousity creates an intimate connection with people and life.

I love writing and coaching about love, life and happiness and hope that you will use all the information I share with you to make your life more fulfilling and purposeful and that it helps you create amazing relationships full of connectedness and passion with your partners and in life. It really is all in the details.
If we are to Create truly Successful Relationships and a fulfilling life we need to understand that curiousity is one of those important principles that will help us define the details, so we can uncover the meaning and importance of deeper understanding through authentic discovery. Without using the gift of curiousity we will live a life of mediocrity and miss out on a deeper and more meaningful understanding of oneself and true intimacy with others.

Socrates said “an unexamined life is not worth living”

In the series for Creating Successful Communication we have been discussing what it means to actually integrate the 5 Principles for Successful Communication. We have discussed what it means to be Conscious and how we can become more aware of our responsibility in our lives and the impact we have personally, professionally and globally.
I believe that Compassion is an essential principle for any healthy relationship, which you can read about HERE.
truth

Going forward we are going to delve more into the principles Curiousity, Courage and Commitment, so hopefully you will see the positive benefits those qualities can bring to your life and relationships.

So what does it mean to be CURIOUS?

CURIOUS:[kyoor-ee-uhs] ADJECTIVE: eager to learn, understand or know; to be inquisitive, arousing or exciting speculation, interest, or attention through being different or unknown; an inquiring open mind interested & seeking to know and understand; to wonder.

We are all born curious, it is a natural quality we all possess. Curiousity is what makes us humans learn to crawl, seek, taste, see, experience, create, philosophize, dream, explore, change. Curiousity is foundational to all creativity and is an essential principle to creating successful relationships.

Why you might ask? Well if you aren’t curious in life and love then you limit yourself to only what you know already. That will be the limit of your experience and understanding. To seek to understand more is an exceedingly important quality in your relationships because we can never truly understand another persons experience without delving deeper. It is important to not believe we actually know what anyone else is experiencing and to be ever so gently open and non-judgmentally curious.

In a previous article I wrote how curiousity will benefit your relationships:

“I believe it is invaluable to be deeply interested in what another person is trying to express with no agenda other than to understand, and in turn being deeply curious about yourself, what you are feeling and what you need to express as well.
Being curious shows that you care, that you are interested; that how the other person feels is important to you and that they are important to you.
While being curious you need to be able to listen without judgment or interrupting. Listening means to be silent and that your brain is entirely engaged with the other person’s experience and how they are feeling as they struggle to express what is going on for them, while also being mindful of your own feelings and responses.

It is helpful to stop yourself from knowing or assuming anything. It means that you remain an open blank slate without making assumptions that you already know and understand what others are trying to express.
Curiousity means that you are remembering that none of what is being said is personal and means you are LISTENING INTENTLY to what is being said, what is happening, what has caused the happy feelings or upset, what the other persons values are, what is important to them and how they want or need something to be different so they will be happier and your relationship will improve, personally or professionally.
This is an important detail about curious conversations; ask questions that help define what is needed, what is important to the other person and why.
Nothing in the world is done without meeting a need and defining what others need is what builds connection and compatibility. A need could be as simple as desiring more tidiness, help with dinner or as fundamental as wanting to feel more respected, but all worthy of our time, curiousity, compassion, cooperation and collaboration to resolve.
It is so important to check out what is going on for another person, make sure what you heard is what was intended, and do your best to understand what is important, what they need and are asking for.  Curiousity builds trust if you are truly seeking to understand someone else with an open compassionate heart.

If you can stay curious even in times of stress, you are on the road to positive healthy relationships. Curiousity helps you stay present to what is happening, what is trying to happen and collaboratively decide what needs to happen going forward. Being curious about the people we are in relationships with, how they experience life, understanding and appreciating their perspective is the key to love in personal relationships and builds collaborative professional relationships creating an unbreakable bond of positive connection and mutual respect”

It is important to reflect our understanding back to people so they know we have understood their answers. It is simple to repeat back what you think you have heard which lets the other person hear you were really listening and understood the details and nuances of what was being said. If we inadvertently missed out any important parts then our “curious minds” can remain open to further information that clarifies what the other person is trying to convey.
Questions can often times sound judgmental or like a criticism so it can be helpful to not use the word “why” but instead to use open questions that start with “what” and “how”:

What happened?
What is that like?Speaking
How do you feel?
What is important about that to you?
What do you need?
Can you help me understand?
How can I help?

There is a caveat to curiousity that I believe is important to mention as your curiousity must be connected with your awareness of yourself and is not meant to be an interrogation from fear or judgment. That is why authentic curiousity takes practice and an attitude of “open hearted wanting to understand” rather than fearful interrogation. I hope you can understand the difference and realize that sometimes we all need to monitor ourselves and that curiousity must have no other agenda than seeking to know more or to understand better with the intention to create positive connection.
With every connection we make it can be so useful to ask if you are creating positive connection or disconnection.

When I say that happiness in life and love is in the details I really mean it is in the details. We mustn’t just accept a superficial limited perspective if we want to feel happier and have more intimate connections to our partners, our friends and colleagues. Humans are complex individuals and attending with non-judgmental open hearted curiousity we can strive to understand people in a more authentic meaningful way.
Curiousity can help you achieve more connection by inviting more detailed information. As humans we present ourselves, our conversations and concerns about 6 layers above where the more meaningful truth is, which means the majority of the time we are not necessarily attuned to what is really driving our complaint or concern.
It is a gift of our time and presence to be curious, whether someone is experiencing a happy moment or a trauma. The impact is priceless as your simple presence and curiousity makes others feel appreciated and important and is that not after all what we all need in life; to love and feel loved. Curiousity is a loving act and love is in the details.
maslows_hierarchy_of_needs_3d_powerpoint_slides_and_ppt_diagram_templates_1

It isn’t only important to be curious about others but equally as important to be curious about yourself. According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs it is one of our main human needs to grow and evolve, and how could we achieve that if we did not use our curiousity. To be curious about oneself is one of the most important qualities we need to create a purposeful and fulfilling life. It is in seeking and clarifying the details of our own needs and values that compels us to live a more authentic expression of ourselves creating more purpose and fulfillment and happy peaceful relationships. How could we discover what is important to ourselves without curiousity? We couldn’t.
It is the act of asking ourselves the important questions that wakes us up and gives us choice to create the life we really want. Curiousity is about defining your dreams and goals and then making a conscious choice to pursue your life with gusto and passion. This is a big conversation best left for the next time but in the meantime I hope you can see the value of curiousity for your life and all your relationships.

Try it out and see what happens. I look forward to hearing what impact curiousity has in your life.

Love Mheyah 
Please connect with me at
www.connectionpointcentre.com
or by email at mheyah@gmail.com

facebook@connectionpointcentre
twitter@mheyahbailey
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Find out more about Mheyah 

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“5 Simple Steps to Successful Communication”

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Did CURIOUSITY really kill the cat?

Successful Communication Made Simple Series by Mheyah Bailey
Also published on Metro LivingZine

Continuing on with the series I am sharing with you over the next few days and weeks on the key elements that are the foundation for excellent communication. I am hoping that you will be able to use the tools in some way that benefits you and makes a difference in your life.

The reason I believe communication to be so important and valuable is it the most relevant way we have to truly connect with others. Communication is made up of many parts, our words, how we say them, our body language and tone. If we all truly learn the Art of Positive Communication we will experience less conflict & misunderstandings in our lives and a lot more cooperation, appreciation and loving harmony, personally, professionally and globally. Communication is an equal opportunity skill that will improve our intimate relationships, create healthier families, communities will be more collaborative, corporate values will shift and nations more united.
I believe that excellent Communication is really all about lots of “C” words, Curiousity, Consciousness, Compassion, Connection, Collaboration, Control, Consideration, Care…….AND I thought of some new ones, Courage, Commitment, Confidence, Change, Character, Competence, Consistency……..Change

In previous newsletters we learned about Consiousness and Compassion and now we are going to look at the “C” word CURIOUSITY

So what is it to be CURIOUS?

CURIOUS:[kyoor-ee-uhs] ADJECTIVE: eager to learn, understand or know; to be inquisitive, arousing or exciting speculation, interest, or attention through being different or unknown; an inquiring open mind interested & seeking to know and understand; to wonder.

Be curious with the open heart & mind of a child. Have you ever listened to a child who is curious about something? They are unequalled in their persistence to get the answers so they can understand.

I believe it is invaluable to be deeply interested in what another person is trying to express with no agenda other than to understand, and in turn being deeply curious about yourself, what you are feeling and what you need to express as well.
Being curious shows that you care, that you are interested, that how the other person feels is important to you and that they are important to you. While being curious you need to be able to listen without judgment or interrupting. Listening means to be silent and that your brain is entirely engaged with your partners experience and how they are feeling as they struggle to express what is going on for them, while also being mindful of your own feelings and responses. It is helpful to stop yourself from knowing anything and to not  be in rebuttal mode. It means that you remain an open blank slate without making assumptions that you already know and understand what others are trying to express.
Curiousity means that you are remembering that none of what is being said is personal and it means you are LISTENING INTENTLY to what is being said, what is happening, what has caused the upset, what the other persons values are, what is important to them and how they want or need something to be different so they will be happier and your relationship will be better personally or professionally.
A need could be as simple as desiring more tidiness or as fundamental as wanting to feel more respected, but all worthy of our time, compassion, cooperation and collaboration to resolve.

GREAT LITTLE VIDEO-HAVE YOU SEEN IT “Remember it is NOT about the NAIL


It is so important to check out what is going on for another person, make sure what you heard is what was intended, and do your best to understand what is important, what they need and are asking for.  Curiousity builds trust if you are truly seeking to understand someone else with a compassionate heart.

POWER OF LOVEIf you can stay curious even in times of relationship stress, you are on the road to positive healthy relationships. Curiousity helps you stay present to what is happening, what is trying to happen and collaboratively decide what needs to happen going forward. Being curious about the people we are in relationships with, how they experience life, understanding and appreciating their perspective is the key to love in personal relationships and collaborative professional relationships creating an unbreakable bond of positive connection and mutual respect.

Questions can often times sound judgemental or like a criticism so it can be helpful to not use the word “why” but instead to use open questions that start with “what” and “how”:
What happened?
What is that like?
How do you feel?
What is important about that to you?
What do you need?
Can you help me understand?
How can I help?

loveLove Mheyah ♥ 
Please connect with me at 

www.connectionpointcentre.com
or by email at mheyah@gmail.com
facebook@connectionpointcentre
twitter@mheyahbailey
instagram@mheyahbailey
pinterest@mheyahbailey

Find out more about Mheyah 


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RELATIONSHIPS & LOVE

 

LOVE IS OUR SOUL PURPOSE
Is there anything more important than love?
Feeling loved is one of our deepest needs as human beings.


Any time not spent on LOVE is time Wasted – Tasso

I love this quote as it sums up how I feel about life everyday, whether I am coaching, counselling, spending time with family or friends, for me it is all about LOVE……………………….

It isn’t always easy to be in relationships.

Do you want to understand what your partner is really trying to say?
Do you want communicate so you know your partner will understand you?
I know I want to feel appreciated, respected and understood and so do all the clients I have met so far

In my unique coaching program you will learn what your needs and values are and I will teach you how to communicate & listen effectively, ask the important questions through curiousity, limit the impact of conflict and differences, merging your visions, dreams and goals of your relationship into an inspiring and exciting reality, integrating your romantic love with a deep sense of meaning and passionate friendship.
We will also have some fun learning about your True Colours Personality and your 5  Love Languages and how they impact your relationships.

Couples will learn:
what love really is
-to understand each other better
-your love languages
-to create more passion and sexual intimacy
-to respect yourself and each other
-how to reframe conflict as opportunity
-how to have successful conversations constructively and respectfully
-to recognize each others deepest values and needs
-how to communicate clear boundaries
-how FEAR impacts our ability LOVE
-the 5 Simple Steps to Successful Conversations

THE WORK OF LOVE unique coaching approach teaches profound tools that will inspire and challenge couples to gain a deeper understanding of each other and to learn to live in heart centred connection creating a deep and meaningful relationship that will stand the test of time and circumstance.



LETS CONNECT-BOOK YOUR DISCOVERY SESSION NOW
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Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it― Rumi

Love Mheyah ♥

If you need urgent help you can download my online communication course Successful Communication Made Simple 

Online Communication Course 

 

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COMMUNICATION COACHING


Communication Coaching

We Help You Create Successful Relationships In All Areas Of Your Life So You Will:

Manage Conflict & Differences positively
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Enjoy More Understanding, Love & Appreciation
Have A Respectful Passionate Connection & Deep Friendship With Your Partner

Even the best relationships  go through ups and downs. Life can be challenging sometimes.

If you’re having difficulty with your own relationships personally or professionally, it may be a good idea to get some Communication Coaching.  Communication is the foundation for all relationships.

Are you experiencing conflict with your partner, your children or your colleagues at work?
Are you feeling misunderstood and not appreciated?
Do you want to feel more loved?
Do you feel unhappy and don’t even know why?
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Are you not enjoying life?
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Are you feeling unfulfilled and purposeless?
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Are you afraid to speak up for yourself?

The atmosphere of our relationships personally and professionally is determined entirely on our ability to communicate and how we exchange ideas, thoughts and feelings, how you manage our own reactivity, appreciate others’ perspectives, listen, solve conflict and express our own needs and values. How we communicate controls what our lives are like and whether we feel happy, fulfilled, have loving relationships and are successful personally and professionally or whether we experience conflict, disharmony, disconnection, unhappiness and feel unfulfilled and alone.
I believe that as human beings one of our most basic needs is to be heard, understood, appreciated and feel loved and that learning how to express our beliefs, thoughts, feelings and needs is as important as water and breathing. Learning the fine art of communication earlier in life would mean that many of us would have more fulfilling relationships and successful professional lives.

At Connection Point we specialize in communication skills, conflict resolution, improving relationships, team building, creating more love, happiness and success in all areas of your life. We also offer all our services online so you can access support anytime.

Call now to book your online session +1-778-952-4797

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As your Transformation Facilitator & Happiness Coach I want to help you Create an Inspired Life from the Inside Out and support you to design and create the life of your dreams. I hope to inspire you to make your life an authentic expression of who you are from the inside out. I can guide you to get past what is holding you back from integrating all aspects of your magnificence into a life fully integrated with who you are at a core level.

To live a conscious & inspired life one must use the wisdom of the heart & the power of the mind

I want you to have a life full of more LOVE, HAPPINESS, FULFILLMENT, PURPOSE & BEAUTY and I can help you unlock the keys to your fabulous delicious life.
Do you feel like you need a life makeover and don’t know where to start?
That is what I am here to help you with. I will support you to make the necessary changes and teach you new skills for you to be successful in all areas of your life, whether you want to feel happier and more at peace, have more loving relationships with less conflict or find your true hearts calling and purpose.

Change can be so much easier with a coach and I am committed to support, inspire, encourage and collaborate with you to create the life you want and I will help you leap into the life of your dreams.

Let me ask you:
Who are you being when facing life’s challenges?

Are you in touch with who you are and what you need?
Are you holding yourself back or seizing the opportunities?
Are you letting fear make your choices?
Are you able to COMMUNICATE so you are heard and understood?
Are you living your best and most authentic self?
Are you feeling happy, fulfilled and successful?
Are your relationships healthy and full of love?
Are you living in integrity with your values?
Does your environment reflect who you are?
Does your lifestyle support your health and well being: emotionally, physically, spiritually?

How you answer these questions demonstrates your level of confidence, knowledge of yourself, your character and whether you have the right skills for a successful and happy life. I will support you to create new empowering beliefs & behavior patterns that inspire confidence and move you toward your goals.

I will teach you how to communicate effectively everywhere in your life so you feel confident and self assured in positive outcomes. We will create a vision for your life and turn it into a reality so your life reflects who you are at your very core. I will help you eliminate self-destructive habits that are keeping you stuck.

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Thank you for visiting Connection Point Centre for Inspired Living and I look forward to connecting with you soon. You can email me at mheyah@gmail.com or some FREE time with me here.

If we do not look within, we will go without.
The wholeness of ourselves does not depend on our personalities
but depends entirely on the awareness of our inner feelings

There is a science to why coaching can change your life:
The term “Interpersonal Neurobiology” is the study of what occurs in the brain as a result of significant life experiences and how a coaching or counseling relationship can be used to actually change the brain and neurological system. It has been determined that neurogenesis and neuroplasticity-the creation of new neurons and new neuronal connections–continue throughout our life and are significantly altered and changed by meditation, mindfulness, and emotional attachment where new neuronal pathways are created. What fires together wires together. Whenever we learn something new, including new attitudes, perspectives, or behaviors, we are changing the physical structure of the brain.” ~ Excerpt from Familyprocess.org


From Mind Wisdom to Heart Wisdom by Evita Ochel @ www.evitaochel.com
“I wish to share with you my personal philosophy for my life, which today I keep as simple as possible – live consciously using the wisdom of the heart and the power of the mind. May we remember that living from the heart does not mean that we abandon the power of our mind. To do so, would be to enter a new imbalanced way of existing on this planet. We cannot deny any part of ourselves to live from our highest potential – not our mind, not our heart and not our soul. We are multidimensional beings, both on a physical and spiritual level and we are today learning how to truly put that into action and live our lives from the most holistic and balanced foundation.
Ultimately, at our essence we are love. We are not fear, or anger, or greed, or competition. As we continue to awaken, may we continue to grow in love, and exercise all that we are in how we relate to ourselves, others and all living and non-living things on this planet. May we always focus on the solutions, rather than the problems, and truly be the change we wish to see”

MY PROMISE TO YOU
my purpose & promise is to inspire you to create CLARITY, AHA moments & TRANSFORMATION, so you can have more HAPPINESS, SUCCESS & LOVE in your life

LETS CONNECT-BOOK YOUR DISCOVERY SESSION NOW
COACHING OPTIONS
One on One, either in person, or by phone or Skype
95-60 minutes
125-90 minutes

SPECIAL PREPAY PACKAGES
15 Sessions-1750 (125 savings)
10 Sessions-1150 (100 savings)
5 Sessions-675 (75 savings)

CELL: +1 778-952-4749 
EMAIL: mheyah@connectionpointcentre.com
SKYPE: mheyah bailey

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SPECIALISED LIFE CHANGING COACHING PROGRAM- $2999.00
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I bring all my life experiences to collaborating with others and a lifetime of education to support my clients in their quest for inspired lifestyles, personal change, more happiness, love & fulfillment, better relationships, purposeful lives.

Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it― Rumi

Love Mheyah ♥
Work with Mheyah

Mheyah Bailey, Vancouver coach

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