“According to numerous surveys, approximately 85% percent of our success in life is directly attributable to our communication and relationship building skills. That means that no matter how ambitious someone is or how much they overcome their fears or how high their level of education, they’ll still have a low probability of going far in life without effective communication skills that are needed to really connect with people”
I started to write this article about “Improving Communication” and something happened along the way and I felt compelled to talk about a topic that was insinuating itself in my consciousness all week from a myriad of sources, which is:
What would cause anyone to want to IMPROVE their COMMUNICATION, how can we quantify the success of IMPROVED COMMUNICATION and what would the tangible results and benefits be for those that embarked on changing how they communicated?
1) You believe life is as good as it gets, which is great if your life is already awesome, congratulations, but NOT if you have settled for less than loving extraordinary relationships, you don’t have a career that is fulfilling and purposeful or you aren’t living in integrity and congruently with your own needs and values which leaves you feeling unsettled, stressed and unhappy.
2) You have no conflict in your life, have never had an argument that went off the rails, never had a break up, or lost someone you loved because of irreconcilable differences, divorced, never had regrets about how you could have behaved differently and created a different outcome, lost a job, didn’t get the opportunity you were hoping for, your family doesn’t get along……you get the idea.
3) It all seems complicated and you want a simple step by step easy guide LOL
So #1 is fairly obvious, as we all can occasionally think
“this is good enough, I shouldn’t complain” or think “this is as good as it gets, sigh” and don’t hope or dream for more, but we seem to be settling for relationships and careers that do not meet our needs, support our values and rob us of inner peace and happiness more and more. We give up on our dreams, lower our expectations and live a life that is unfulfilling and less than inspiring, hence part of the 353% increase in the use of anti-depressants in Canada from 3.2 million to 14.5 million in 20 years. There is not just one factor that leads to depression, but we know the break down of our social structures of community, family and marriage, conflict, isolation, stress due to overwork and unbalanced lifestyles affects our lives dramatically, because as humans we are wired for connection, attachment and relationships. When those dynamics are in jeopardy so is our overall fulfillment and happiness. It is clear, just looking at the divorce rate 59% of marriages fail, suicide is on the rise in youth between 11-14 and middle aged men, bullying is ever increasing, we have strife and global conflict, that we as a whole are feeling the pressure and aren’t looking after ourselves, or each other, emotionally, physically or spiritually.
Getting in touch with the parts of our lives that need changing and nurturing to optimize our health and wellbeing, requires us to be intimately in touch with who we are at a core level and that we have the ability to communicate our needs, concerns, values and dreams to others, so we can change our circumstances increasing our levels of happiness and satisfaction with our lives.
So my point simply is, that being able to positively
and effectively communicate and connect with others will determine the quality and success of our lives, relationships and overall well being, happiness and fulfillment.
#2. Well this one speaks for itself. If we are human and alive on this planet then we all have to deal with conflict, misunderstandings, losses and regrets at some point in our lives. These experiences can be the catalyst for us to learn, evolve and grow and our relationships, personally or professionally can only be successful, not in the absence of differences or conflict, but in how we manage ourselves and communicate during those times. Dr. John Gottman of the Gottman Institute in Seattle, a leading researcher in Relationship Dynamics says “Your emotional awareness and ability to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in life”
The truth is, it is only feelings and unmet needs that cause conflict, so the better able you are to manage your feelings and engage in positive dialogue the better your life will be.
#3. WELL I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE IT SIMPLE SO PLEASE KEEP READING MY BLOGS TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW TO CREATE MORE HARMONY, SUCCESS, HAPPINESS AND LOVE THROUGH IMPROVING YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS
and if you haven’t signed up yet to get the whole communication series please do below as I am sure you will start to see positive results immediately you start using some new tools.
If you want to connect with me to chat about how I can support you to learn new skills so you have less conflict, feel happier, create awesome relationships, are successful in your professional life.